Forum Discussion

Brenda5's avatar
Brenda5
Member
8 years ago

Depression after treatment.

22/04/2017 Had an ECG during the week. The local doctors nurse did a few paper read outs and then I had another one which uploaded direct to the doctors computer and he said on the intercom he was happy with that one and the nurse discharged me without seeing the doctor at all. This was a bit odd as the appointment came out of the blue a year after treatment and I had never had an ECG before.

On Friday, I saw my psychiatrist who explained the depression medication he had me on, although it doesn’t react with my Tamoxifen, between the two it can lower heart rate and I needed to be checked. Since I still get morning diarrhea on 10mg of Escitalopram he decided not to increase the dosage at this time. He said it was a good thing the reaction of my body to it as he said it means it’s working.

He explained a lot of feelings and incidents were forgotten and suppressed during my cancer battle and over time as the chemo fog lifts I need to come to terms with what I went through. He said it takes time.

I do feel much better on the depression meds which are supposed to lift my Serotonin levels in my brain (the happy bit). I am very passive now with no anger but I still cry sometimes just before I fall asleep when I am semi-conscious but with very little short memory recall I have no idea what that’s about.

chemotherapy
depression
emotions
side-effects
  • Jane_Elizabeth's avatar
    Jane_Elizabeth
    Member
    8 years ago
    I think whilst we are going through treatment, treatment is the only thing we are able to focus on, and only when that finishes are we able to reflect and see (with quite some shock), that we are different, and always will be. That difference is neither good or bad, just different. The shock for me was when the doctor called having cancer "a trauma". We have all been through a traumatic event which will take a while to process, regardless of our physical state/changes. Sometimes it seems the outside world has moved on, but we are still someway back on the road, trying to gather our things and catch up. All the best @Brenda5, onwards and upwards.
  • primek's avatar
    primek
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hoping you start to have that fog clear and be able to finally process all that you have been through. The bowel thing should settle in a couple of weeks hopefully. Kath x
  • SoldierCrab's avatar
    SoldierCrab
    Member
    8 years ago
    Brenda5 i see the psychologist, since my treatment as I was not coping and I would be crying in my sleep and it would wake me up and the kids.... I would have no idea why I was crying the psychologist said it is PTSD caused my the cancer diagnosis and treatment..... I am still seeing her but we are now doing every 2 months I have an appointment whereas when we started she was seeing me fortnightly. For me listening to some relaxation tapes has helped get me sleeping well  and in a good pattern again that is half the battle if you are sleeping well you cope better with everyday life. 

    Be gentle on yourself, as socoda said you have had a massive time of it.....
    Hugs girl
    xoxox
    Alice
     
  • Brenda5's avatar
    Brenda5
    Member
    8 years ago
    I think its brilliant that there is an alternative for HRT which used to be the method of treatment during menopause. I am assured this one doesn't feed any cancer. I am still thinking my mind and body atm are only temporary with their side effects. Thinking any of it is permanent is just too hard. One year down, 4 to go to the new me!
  • socoda's avatar
    socoda
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hey @Brenda5, I reckon your psychiatrist is excellent for ensuring that you're not going to get any little side effects as a result of your medication. I also reckon that you have had an absolutely huge time of it - what with varying treatment regimes, finding long lost family members, seeking assistance for long lost family members, you haven't really had that much of a chance to slow down and smell the roses and with that also let those walls down that we build up to see us through treatment etc. So I don't think it's a bad thing to have a little cry every now and then, stress relief is brilliant.  You're doing everything right including as fairydust said your jigsaw puzzles, and looking after your fish. Big hug. Xx Cath
  • melclarity's avatar
    melclarity
    Member
    8 years ago
    @fairydust completely agree.. Brenda the biggest thing I learnt that helped me when I hit those low emotional times was learning to nurture me, something Id never done in my life or put me first. I do now, and Im still a great Mum but I put me above work, dont even care about it anymore. I focus on me, what brings me joy, and Ive never felt so happy in myself, its weird!!! LOL x
  • fairydust's avatar
    fairydust
    Member
    8 years ago
    @Brenda5 ....Wise psychiatrist it takes awhile for chemo to lift let alone effects of radiation etc Your body needs to adjust and heal.
    For me I have joined meditation groups and found them helpful though not a cure. Perhaps the tears at night are a good thing releasing pent up emotion.
    I have had anti-depressants in the past and needed them at that time. If they help you good. 
    The other thing  that helps is focusing something you love to do .Anything that absorbs you do it . Jig saw puzzles computer games whatever just do it.




  • melclarity's avatar
    melclarity
    Member
    8 years ago
    @Brenda5 in 2011 I sought out a Psychologist due to some other things happening in my life, the loss of my Mum and then my marriage 1 year after that. As I finished my sessions with her I got my first diagnosis she was invaluable. When I was diagnosed again in 2015 I didnt contact her, and I was amazed at how far I'd come but it wasnt easy, I chose to deal with every emotion whilst I was going through it. I didnt push any of it away because I knew it would be worse for me down the track. I did however contact her prior to my mastectomy/reconstruction, that I wasnt coping with and again amazed at how in 1 session it clicked and I was absolutely ok after that. Best thing Ive ever done is seek the help of a Psychologist and recommend it to anyone not just through BC. I have 2 children both diagnosed with depression, my oldest was on meds for a year and now is off them...managing with strategies. Everyone is different, just be kind to you! xo Melinda 
  • Zoffiel's avatar
    Zoffiel
    Member
    8 years ago
    @Brenda5. It's hard work. I've had depressive episodes in the past, my GP tells me it is a chemical imbalance which is why she has had me try a variety of antidepressants. All well and good if I have a crash for no obvious reason, but when I feel like shit because my life has fallen over I'm not sure that drugs that make me feel like I am under water are that helpful. It seems like I'm putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound and hoping everything will work itself out.

    I guess we can only try. I'd say that though I'm depressed, it's more a case of PTSD. It's been a very tough six months both mentally and physically. That it's my second time doesn't help. I feel shell shocked and don't want to feel numb on top of that so I'm resisting the meds for now. That may change. It's like one thing after another going wrong and we are completely out of control. Best of luck, I think that's all that any of us need now. Marg xxx
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    8 years ago
    When my partner was having chemo, I was considerably surprised that no one spoke to him about depression, as I have always seen this as a likely side effect of treatment. I have been lucky in lots of ways as I haven't had the debilitating side effects that many have endured but even I needed a counsellor for a few months to get my head around the new normal. I suspect the combination of often extremely unpleasant side effects, work/career disruption, the abrupt reminder of your mortality and the possibility of recurrence could make anyone depressed! And that's if life was cheery and rosy to begin with. I appreciate the urgency of dealing with bodily health with cancer, but mental health goes hand in hand. Best wishes Brenda5, I am sure it does take time and I'm glad you are feeling the benefits of treatment.