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Mishie's avatar
Mishie
Member
9 years ago

Deep breath....there goes my hair

Well here we go...I knew this was going to happen, but somewhere deep in my heart I was hoping I'd be the weird one that didn't lose my hair. It's day 14 from my first TC chemo treatment. When I woke up Sunday (day 13) I realised I was starting to shed a LOT of hair. My partner was away most of the day and I didn't have my usual morning shower because I just couldn't face it. I still have that scene from Breaking Bad stuck in my head, Walt in the shower shampooing, and clumps of hair start falling out. I've dreaded this. So this morning my partner woke me up to say goodbye as he went to work. I was afraid to sit up and kiss him good bye, afraid I would leave a pile of hair behind on the pillow. Finally I sat up and there it was, not piles but a lot of stray hairs. I felt my head gently and came away with half a handful. I cried a little. Partner came to hug me and said "But you KNEW this was going to happen." And he's right, I did. But it doesn't make it easier when it actually DOES happen. I don't want to be harsh on him, what do you say?  But I wish he'd said something different. I think that is my problem, tho, not his.

I lost about 1/3 of my hair shampooing this morning, kept my eyes closed till the hot water ran out. I didn't want to see it till it was all off my body and hands.Took care of the mess. And I'm not happy but I feel a bit better now. How odd I'm more upset about this than the change in my breast appearance after the lumpectomy.

It's not forever. Itsnotforever.