Day 84

Question

Well today was my second round of chemo. Much easier knowing what to expect. The needle in the arm actually does hurt a little, but hey, it's nothing really. My lovely partner came with me again today, and read the paper to me and did crosswords while I sat there with the ice mitz on my hands and feet.

The weekend just gone I felt fantastic. Even went to the pub with friends on Saturday to watch the afl final and have a few drinks. I'm sure they noticed my hair was different but no one said anything which was nice. Sunday we went to the nrl grand final, and yesterday just pottered and cleaned the house.

I've still been exercising every day, walking my dog, and have even joined up my local contours. It's a 30 minute workout which is great, ladies only, and I don't feel umcomfortable wearing my cap with no hair underneath. In fact it's a really nice comfortable environment, which I'm really enjoying.

I have two nan's, one who calls regularly and one who I haven't heard from since my diagnosis. She is an absolutely gorgeous lady, but just refuses to call people - you always have to call her. I haven't called because I just think now is the time that she can call me - is that selfish??? I just think there are times when it's your responsibility to call others, for all of us. I just think its strange that she won't call.

So onto round two and fingers crossed I handle it as we'll as the first. x

lanilumps71 · Answer

thankyou for posting your experience on here!! i am just about to start and you have taken some of the fear away...&nbsp;
Spoke for hours to a dear friends mum the other day who had ovarian cancer and did the whole chemo thing. She said to me that her experience with loved ones is that some wont leave your side... and some will avoid you! Its because they feel helpless, dont know what to do or are afraid that they will say and do the wrong thing!! Her cure for this was to make them all sit with her through her 6 hours of chemo LOL!!&nbsp;

sandyst · Answer

I know everyone is completely different with their reaction to a friends breast cancer news but&nbsp;I know what you mean....one of my closest friends has been to see me maybe, 3 times in 2 months...even after surgery and my first chemo. She lives in the same unit complex as I do, so no excuse for distance. She has rung but it seems she's scared - keeps running away from my news. Other wonderful friends who I've know for a shorter time have brought me practical things like dinner&nbsp;and offers of transport to appointments.....I still know she cares but sometimes it's sad to find out who you can really rely on for support

helen_anne · Answer

Hi Annie
I don't think you're being selfish at all!&nbsp; Surely to God your nan could make an exception to her "rule" (which I believe is a real generational thing - the elders of the family EXPECT younger members to contact them etc etc)!
If she ever does say something to you about the lack of contact, just remind her - politely (but perhaps with a bit of sarcasim in your voice) - that you are ill at the moment and had too many doctors appointments to be calling!&nbsp; See if that brings a response!
Similarily I had different experiences with some&nbsp;friends,
I have a fantastic set of friends -&nbsp;what I like to call my core set of friends.&nbsp; They were with me all the way, called often, took me out, accompanied me to chemo, rang hubby to see how he was coping, sent flowers and cards and were absolutely marvellous.
However there were some people who I considered friends who completely withdrew.&nbsp; I simply don't think they knew how to cope with the news and in particular, how to cope with all my hospital admissions (I had a pretty bad time).&nbsp; But now I've finished treatment and I'm slowly getting back to normal they have returned to the scene.&nbsp; I'm not angry with them, just a bit sad - &nbsp;if anything as I do wonder how they would feel it the situation was reversed.
One of the worst experiences I had was when two friends turned up and the woman physically withdrew (backwards) from me because she saw my bald head for the first time.&nbsp; That didn't make me feel very good, but this person is always perfectly couffered and made up so until then, I didn't realise how important looks were to her and again, I just felt sad for her.
There's more to life than being beautiful.
Keep strong and keep fighting
luv H

jpink · Answer

yeah - the whole friends thing.&nbsp; It seems that I have ceased to exsist now.&nbsp; My friends all ask my husband about me, which is nice but it seems that they dont know how to react to me now, so the easiest&nbsp; option is to ignore me.&nbsp; Yeah they are nice if they see me out and about but conversation is now very stilted. During the week after chemo I am pretty knocked about so dont really go anywhere. I think what has hit me hardest as I was casual when this all started so I lost my job and therefore also lost the social interaction that comes with working.&nbsp; I have to do something to pick myself up today, too easy to let the negative thoughts rule the day

sandyst · Answer

I know wat you mean too about work - I had just started work (3 months) as a casual&nbsp;community support worker with a christian&nbsp;organisation and I have received 1 phone call (in 3 months) to see how I'm doing!!!!!!!!!!??????????? It is very sad to think they are all too busy to stop for one minute and think of a fellow human "having a rough time at the moment".

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