Day 84

Hi Annie

I don't think you're being selfish at all!  Surely to God your nan could make an exception to her "rule" (which I believe is a real generational thing - the elders of the family EXPECT younger members to contact them etc etc)!

If she ever does say something to you about the lack of contact, just remind her - politely (but perhaps with a bit of sarcasim in your voice) - that you are ill at the moment and had too many doctors appointments to be calling!  See if that brings a response!

Similarily I had different experiences with some friends,

I have a fantastic set of friends - what I like to call my core set of friends.  They were with me all the way, called often, took me out, accompanied me to chemo, rang hubby to see how he was coping, sent flowers and cards and were absolutely marvellous.

However there were some people who I considered friends who completely withdrew.  I simply don't think they knew how to cope with the news and in particular, how to cope with all my hospital admissions (I had a pretty bad time).  But now I've finished treatment and I'm slowly getting back to normal they have returned to the scene.  I'm not angry with them, just a bit sad -  if anything as I do wonder how they would feel it the situation was reversed.

One of the worst experiences I had was when two friends turned up and the woman physically withdrew (backwards) from me because she saw my bald head for the first time.  That didn't make me feel very good, but this person is always perfectly couffered and made up so until then, I didn't realise how important looks were to her and again, I just felt sad for her.

There's more to life than being beautiful.

Keep strong and keep fighting

luv H