Countdown has begun....
The countdown has begun....two weeks from now I go in to have the left breast removed (right breast was removed in Dec 2010). Each time I see a doctor the news gets more dire. One specialist said that in women under 50 who get breast cancer, usually the cancer is aggressive. This was his way of explaining why when I had my check up in Nov 2010 there was no evidence of cysts or otherwise and yet less than 2 months later, 13 cysts have shown up with 3 looking suspicious. No small comfort....
I'm amazed at the kindness of people though from unexpected sources. I spoke with all 4 of my kids' schools to make sure counsellors there were supporting them and looking out for them. All four kids go to private schools. Less than an hour later, one school called to say they'd assign a counsellor to my 17 year old daughter, and "oh by the way, we're waiving the school fees this year." Two hours later the primary school where my two 11 year olds go called and did the same thing (they're across the street from each other). It made me cry.
I'm as ready mentally and physically as I can be for this surgery but I'm not ready for what the results may tell me. I got away with not needing intravenous chemo last round (I took tablets - high dose methotrexate for 4 months) but if there's even one cancer cell anywhere in the tissue, I will need to undergo a more aggressive treatment regime.
Today I choose to not think about the results just yet. I'm just living for today.
