hi all,this post just my emotion and what I have in my head that make me cant sleep because of these options.1. chemo and radiation then hormone therapyor 2. radiation and ovaries shutdown and hormone therapyI prefer to choose second option but also anxious wether this is the right one.Oncologist cant give decision, it is on meshe just said chemo only for assurance, some people dont want to take. I can choose this option no chemo if i dont want to.but after that she said my cancer is grade3 and little/ LVI (Lymphovasculer invasion) in the cancer sample. Due to this situation, chemo is better option.So, this means only one option given rather than 2 options?????!Somehow, I thought why should I ruin my body for chemo if this is not 100% can be used As the oncologist said, this chemo is like home insurance, you might or might not need it.. thats why some people do not want to have it...but i also worry if maybe I need it???Oh...goshhh ... I just feel these 2 options only 1 option. the first one - with chemo. who can decide it for me??? Breast surgeon ?? or search for second oncologist opinion??I am anxious with the side effect of chemo, it mentioned can create another different type of cancer...All this things from my head that make me cant sleep.hope i can sleep after this post.

@Della, I feel for you, I have been in exactly that situation (in fact, most of us have). I chose to go the chemo and will go the radiation but if the hormone blockers make life hard, I may discontinue them. (Ten years of hormone tablets is a lot to cope with if it really stuffs me up) My reasons are: the Chemo will mop up anything that may be floating around in my blood or lymphatic system, the radiation will clear up any cancer that may have been left in situ and the hormone blockers will have a final go at starving any cancer that may be left after both the chemo and radiation. (as my cancer is hormone positive). Each one will reduce my risk of the cancer returning. If any was left and it did happen to spread, it could go to the brain, liver or lungs. I figure it may take a while to recover from the nasty side effects but I'm going to fight like hell to make sure I have every chance of living my best life. I'm not going to rule out any medication that can reduce my risk cancer unless the side effects become unmanageable and I won't know that until I'm going through it and then I'll consider stopping it.No one can make this decision for you, you need to decide what is best for you and the risks involved. To make the decision even harder, everyone reacts differently to the chemo. Some people come through fairly easily and some really do struggle and you won't know until you do it. Do you have a breast care nurse? If not you can find one here:https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/get-support/find-a-nurse/You can discuss it with her and she'll help you weigh up the options. Best wishes and care XXXX

@Della, just the fact that you are on here, looking for help, shows that you are brave and strong. Even the strongest of us have down days, scared days, days when we don't know how to go forward. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and try to do what you can to keep a little bit of control. It might be going for a walk and giving yourself time to think, it might be filling the freezer with food for days when you don't feel up to cooking, it might be writing down all your fears and questions to ask your doctors/specialists and nurses. What ever you can do to keep a little bit of control for yourself. For me it was cutting my hair short before it fell out in great chunks. If it was going to come off anyway, then it was coming off on MY terms!This disease is a bastard and journey we all travel is a hard one. You are stronger than you realise, and you will make your decision because you have to. That is most of what people see as bravery, just doing what you have to because there is no other choice.Don't feel bad taking up the time of the breast care nurse, that is what she is there for! Can you call them Monday morning before you see the oncologist? Maybe ask if you can talk to the oncology unit nurse manager to help you decide, they deal with people going through chemo everyday and see all outcomes.Don't be afraid to ask heaps of questions of health professionals (part of their role is to provide you with all the info you need) , ask people going through similar things, ask friends and family for hugs, be kind to yourself - if there was any time when you deserve to put yourself first, now is it!. Wish I could do more to help.Take care xxxx

@Julez1958 I had and still having great service throughout my treatment i went public originally as i had no option i was not sorry. From diagnosis to 1st treatment was 6 weeks. I did get put up on a level 1 category on the other side at the same time in mostly private setting an in-law had an horrific time with her private treatment. And is suffering PTSD badly. Shes now doing public route as a private patient. And is happier than before. i think sometimes it is the luck of the draw a lot if us get on this roundabout with no knowledge of whats going to happen and how long it should take. And we’re scared as hell and just want this cancer out and gonethe online network has been fantastic for me. I don’t comment a lot but i do read heaps and not just recent posts. Usually find the answers to most of my queries I wish you well in your treatment.

Hi della - I must admit wasn’t given a % at start but I knew the triple positive cancer was a concern . ER+ and HER+ Can be a worry The chemo was to target any cancer cells still around after other treatments , with clear margins at surgery and no lymph nodes involvement .No treatment regime has guarantees it will work .That’s the problem .at end of day I figured I had to be able to say I’d tried everything that they’d suggested ( and I have ) .

Hello @Della - These decisions are very hard for us 'ordinary' people to make, and even more so when the 'specialists' are wavering.All I can say is to make a list of the pros and cons for your particular lifestyle and expectations, ask all questions of the treating team so you are clear in your mind. From then on, you need to be sure that you won't regret any decision should something not turn out as well as you'd hoped in the long term.All the best.

Chemo or not chemo | BCNA Online Network

58 Replies

noosa_blue150
Member
4 years ago
I had lumpectomy surgery on 4th jan and the radiation started 11th feb , so about 5 weeks later .
I had the appointment with radiation dr 1st feb. You should be checking in with your medical,team/ ‘breast care nurse as to exactly when as you’ll need to keep your schedule clear for daily radiation for 4-5 weeks depending on what type of radiation you’re having .
Della
Member
4 years ago
hi all,

actually i wanted to post my decision long time ago but i am still anxious about my decision. I am like hiding behind my own decision and wondering whether this is the right one and so many ‘what if’
I have chosen without chemo with help from the nurse and GP as they said there are 2 options and both are good for my situation. I just do what I can do at this stage.

I am waiting for my radiation... before the surgery they said 1 month after the surgery but until now I am still waiting.

Could anyone share about your radiation time? How long usually have to wait after the surgery??

many thank
Zoffiel
Member
4 years ago
@Della hope things are becoming clearer. I was told prior to my first chemo that it gave me about 3% better chance of survival. Not much, hey?
The kicker is that most women with my particular diagnosis (70%) were dead within 5 years. I decided to do what I could afford to do. It took 10 years for the cancer to come back.
I didn't ask about the stats the second time. I just did it. That was 5 years ago.
I've got a nasty sneaky version of BC. I've had an extra decade which, while it hasn't always been a smooth ride, I don't regret. Mxx
Abbydog
Member
4 years ago
Dear Della,
I'v been thinking of you.
Let us know what you have decided.
Cath62
Member
4 years ago
Dear @Della,

The brain is a funny thing and unless we do things to quiet the mind it runs wild and is most unhelpful. We have a brain but we are not our brains and all is worry is not helpful in finding answers. What can be helpful is deep breaths, some meditation or yoga. Only in the stillness do the answers come. Wishing you much love and peace with your decision.
arpie
Member
4 years ago
I don't envy your choice, @Della - you say
...but if i choose chemo and cancer come back, i also will question it no point to choose chemo at first...

None of us know what the future holds - but what I DO know is that my husband and I had 11 wonderful years after his first lot of chemo (including him competing internationally again in triathlons) before he had a recurrence (when 75% of people with his cancer normally don't survive 5 years, even with surgery & chemo.) When he WAS diagnosed with recurrence earlier this year, I didn't query the chemo - I basically said 'F**k' and we just got on with it, and continue to do so.

You are worried about possible damage from the chemo and if there is an unknown cancer it may make worse .... when in reality, the chemo should mop that up as well! That's why they give chemo - to mop up those 'random cancer cells' that may be circulating in the body ....

Think of it as D Day at the end of WW2 .... they didn't send in a handful of troops ... they sent in the whole bloody army, navy & airforce .... they chucked everything they had at 'the enemy' - and your Breast Cancer is 'the enemy' ..... and that is the decision you need to make. Do you send in 'some troops' or 'all of them'?

take care & all the best xx
Della
Member
4 years ago
Hi @AllyJay thank you for the example situation. If I dont choose the chemo and it come back I believe i will regret it. Definitely there is a whisper in my mind saying that
but if i choose chemo and cancer come back, i also will question it no point to choose chemo at first.
At the moment, my mind is not crystal and i know i am a brave woman. I always fill with worry and worry. What if this chemo damage other part of my body. What if there is unknown cancer in my body and it make it worst. What if what if ..... full of what if in my head

Oh gee i dont believe it why my brain keep thinking the bad things
i need someone strong to push me and make me calm and believe in my choice.
@Afraser I dont know which one I can.... one or another make me thinking

i am sorry all for the trouble...

Many thanks
Della
Member
4 years ago
Hi @Cath62 thank you for your advice.
these choices make me can’t sleep well, wake up in the middle of the night and can not after that till sunshine. After reading your advice make me believe that I have to choose chemo even though it only gives 2% benefit for my treatment. I have to choose the maximal treatment provided. But poison my body ???? Thats the question that always goes around my head... silly me....

@Abbydog, its nice you still have your hair. There was cold cap provided. The oncologist already mentioned that due to covid hospital does not provide this cold cap.

many thanks
Cath62
Member
4 years ago
Hi @Della,

Good luck today.

I was stage 1, grade 3, hormone positive. I had 12 rounds of chemo and 1 month radium and now take tamoxifen. I never got sick with chemo. The steroids they gave me to help me not reject the chemo did affect me a bit emotionally but I got through it. Radium was fine, considerably easier for me. The fact you are here means your strong and probably much stronger than you think. My advice is just have a plan than provides you with the best chance and a plan that will leave you feeling that you did everything you could. Good luck with your decision. Let us know how you get on and what you decide.
Abbydog
Member
4 years ago
Dear Della,
I don't suppose I was actually lucky, but my Oncology advice was more decisive.
And my plan was clear. Mastectomy with axillary clearance, 20 weeks chemo and 5 weeks radiotherapy.
I just followed the plan. My cancer was stage 2, grade 3, hormonal positive.
Being given a choice sounds very difficult and stressful.
I can put it out there that not everyone suffers enormously with Chemo.
I was lucky with that. No nausea, other side effects were manageable.
I did not loose my hair, as I used the cold cap.
Without the cold cap I would definitely have lost my hair, with the drugs I had.
Not everyone can tolerate it, and it doesn't work for everyone.
Good luck with your decision,
All the best for your future.

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