Cancer deaths

arpie said:

Yes.  But try not to stress over it.   As @Afraser says - grieve but don't feel guilty.  Live as full a life as you are able .... 

My husband had most of his stomach removed due to cancer 10 years ago this month.  The writer Bryce Courtenay had the identical surgery & chemo and passed away 2 years later.   Both were raised in South Africa.  Both were incredibly fit & both were boxers & marathon Runners and were similar ages.  Both, very talented in their own areas ... tho Bryce obviously made millions from his books .....  75% don't make it past 5 years with their diagnosis.  We've been very lucky with Hubby's health.

Even before I got Breast Cancer, I've always said "Live your life as if every day is your last - and one day you'll be right" ....... We just never know when that day will be xxx

Well said Hugs xx

Thanks just keep telling myself it’s not about me 

Some of my darkest days are watching women around me not make it. I'm in  rural community so everyone knows. It's just awful but somehow you move through it and be thankyou you are still here.
Shed a tear. Take some time out. If it becomes your only focus you need to talk to someone about it.

I think it can also leave you quite unsettled with an uncomfortable feeling of identification.

Yes.  But try not to stress over it.   As @Afraser says - grieve but don't feel guilty.  Live as full a life as you are able .... 

My husband had most of his stomach removed due to cancer 10 years ago this month.  The writer Bryce Courtenay had the identical surgery & chemo and passed away 2 years later.   Both were raised in South Africa.  Both were incredibly fit & both were boxers & marathon Runners and were similar ages.  Both, very talented in their own areas ... tho Bryce obviously made millions from his books .....  75% don't make it past 5 years with their diagnosis.  We've been very lucky with Hubby's health.

Even before I got Breast Cancer, I've always said "Live your life as if every day is your last - and one day you'll be right" ....... We just never know when that day will be xxx

Mmm, I believe it’s called survivor guilt - ‘if they did, why didn’t I?’ Or worse, ‘I should have died rather than them’. Of course, the latter doesn’t work at all, you can’t make those sort of trades, even for those you love and need the most. And two people dying, rather than one, hardly helps either. Pause and consider - would the person you lost want you to die? Even in sympathy and love? Highly unlikely. They would want for you what they doubtless wanted for themselves - to get better, to live. You can do them honour by doing your very best to live up to that hope yourself. Be sad at this time, grieve but don’t feel guilty. Mortality is hard to deal with - at least at first. It’s one of cancer’s many gifts. But coming to terms with your own mortality can be a real gift, in the scheme of things. Best wishes.