Can I have a whinge :(
Hi
I apologise in advance, this is not an upbeat post :(
I am so so tired atm, so sick and so fed up.
I so need to just vent and whinge and cry at the injustice of it all.
So far over the last 7 weeks I have been positive and have been facing each hurdle with a smile on my dial, lol.
But the last few days I feel wrecked and defeated.
2 surgeries in 17 days, first surgery still have a seroma (fluid lump build up around the lumpectomy site), a day up emergency waiting to get it assessed then drained.
I was on antibiotics right up till second surgery. After second surgery few days later pain set in, eventually showed massive infection, so back on antibiotics.
Few days later blisters erupt, pain level got worse and worse since surgery even on antibiotics, so back to doctors and there pretty sure as am I that I have shingles around the drain site. This will be the 4th bout of shingles throughout my life.
The recovery and pain I have had is way beyond what I expected after axillery node surgery. It probably doesn't help that I already have damage to all the left arm, hip, back and neck from a fall in 2008, so this surgery is all been done on the right side, so it's like a double whammy. I can barely wipe a bench or anything atm.
So pain level, itch, sick feeling through out body etc. I just feel overwhelmed, defeated by it all wondering where I will get the strength to face the next challenges of meeting with chemo, radiation etc to discuss treatment.
I guess I will hold on to the hope that it is just a discussion.
I understand this is probably just a temporary flat that I am experiencing and maybe everything finally catching up with me.
As I write this the tears are flowing for the first time in a while, which is probably a good thing.
Thanks for listening and reading. I hope I don't dampen anyone else with my sad sac moments, lol.
Cheers, Karen :)