Can I do this again?

Wow what an awful week you have had. I too can't imagine how you feel right now. I too would be crying, but as Tonya said you will find stregnth to do,whatever it is you need to do next. Being given a time limit on your life seems crazy. I know I can't speak from experience, but I am sure there are others who can. This is the link to a ladies page who only just posted on here. If you can read through her blogs, they are quite inspiring. http://www.bcna.org.au/user/766/blog/66429 Sending you much love. Paula xxxx

So, I've been in Brisvegas for the last week and to say it has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. The op went well, but the spot on my liver has turned out to be the enemy. Another very microscopic spot was also found on my liver and a questionable lymph node near my stomach (I'm using the Drs terms). I was also told that I may only have 12 months to live. As you can imagine, this was the final straw for me. I spent days just sobbing. My pathology came back yesterday and it appears that my breast tumor is er+, my last one was negative so this in itself is a rare thing. Then there was the drama with the patient travel scheme and the cancer council but that's a tale for another day. So, where do I go from here? I will start chemo in 3 weeks and they will see if that has any effect on the liver tumor after a few cycles. A year just isn't long enough.

Google Mummy's wish. It's an organization that gives financial support to people just like you. They also provide things to help kids under the age of 12. Paula :)

Google Mummy's wish. It's an organization that gives financial support to people just like you. They also provide things to help kids under the age of 12. Paula :)

Glad today things seem doable!! I did my rads in Townsville too:). I missed my daughters 11th birthday. She did come down and spend Easter with me just after to make up for it. I hear you about doing it twice, I felt like What the? Isn't it someone else's turn. These things are sent to try us. And try us they do, but we get through it. I will be thinking of you and keep everything crossed. I was surprised how quickly I recovered from the mastectomy, and how I coped with only one boob!!! I hope things are the same for you. More big hugs. Paula :)

Thank you Paula. I will try those things and see how I go. At the moment I am just trying to focus on getting through the next few days. Tomorrow is my sons 13th birthday and we are leaving for brisbane, it sucks. Last year on his birthday, I had to leave for Townsville to complete my rads. I hope I can take some of the positivity from the site and use it. Yesterday, I was in a really bad place but today I feel a little better. I have everything crossed that the spot on my liver is nothing and that my lymph nodes have been spared, again. The rest, I can deal with (I think). I have met with Janine the breast care nurse and she is lovely. She keeps telling me that everything is treatable, so I have to focus on that, and the a fact that I want to see my kids grow up. I was willing to take one for the team, but two, jeez that's stretching the friendship! Xoxo

I hear you. My husband and I were just getting back on track when I was rediagnosed!! Poor Paul he tried so hard to be supportive, but at times he felt there was nothing left to give. I don't blame him, it is often harder being the support person. However that doesn't always help us. Somehow we managed to blunder our way through and come out the other end. A little bit shakier and emotionally drained, but we got there. You will too. The patient transport scheme at the hospital (I am in Far North Qld) can be a nightmare!! I remember breaking down on the phone one day. I had to go to the Wesley as I was doing my chemo privately and had a huge(close to anaphylactic) reaction to taxotare the first time I did chemo.) As there was no oncologist on site my oncologist who flew up from Brisbane once a month wanted me at the Wesley. Well the lady I was dealing with at the patient transport in Cairns was so sarcastic and said she didn't know why I couldn't just do my chemo here like everyone else!! I flipped and asked her if she thought I wanted to leave my family every 3 weeks to have a poison put in my veins that nearly killed me the first time I had it!! She changed her tune after thar and was my new best friend. It's a shame you have to fight for all this financial help. I can't remember exactly how much my scans were. I do know that they bulk billed one and I had to pay the difference on the other one. I think the difference was around $300 or $400. Yours do sound expensive. Mine were through Queensland x-Ray. Maybe you could ask about the bulk billing of one. They might accept your Medicare payment? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Now in regards to the health fund, give them a call as it's not something they advertise(cause that would be smart) but most cover a small part accomodation. I think you need a form filled out from your Dr (my Gp did mine). I know its so much to take in and so much paperwork, I felt like I needed a PA. Just put it all neatly in a file til you are strong enough to deal with it. Lastly the other breast? I was like you and wanted them both off. My surgeon said it was more important to just take the one with cancer in and get it healed pronto so I could start chemo again YAY! He did say however if when it was all over and I was well again if I still felt the same way he would take the other one at the same time as the reconstruction. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now I am so much stronger and have had time to really research my options and make an informed choice. I am now ready for that surgery. One day at a time is all you can do. Hang in there, it does get better and this site is great. I didn't use it before, and wish I did! Big hugs to you. Paula :)

I hear you. My husband and I were just getting back on track when I was rediagnosed!! Poor Paul he tried so hard to be supportive, but at times he felt there was nothing left to give. I don't blame him, it is often harder being the support person. However that doesn't always help us. Somehow we managed to blunder our way through and come out the other end. A little bit shakier and emotionally drained, but we got there. You will too. The patient transport scheme at the hospital (I am in Far North Qld) can be a nightmare!! I remember breaking down on the phone one day. I had to go to the Wesley as I was doing my chemo privately and had a huge(close to anaphylactic) reaction to taxotare the first time I did chemo.) As there was no oncologist on site my oncologist who flew up from Brisbane once a month wanted me at the Wesley. Well the lady I was dealing with at the patient transport in Cairns was so sarcastic and said she didn't know why I couldn't just do my chemo here like everyone else!! I flipped and asked her if she thought I wanted to leave my family every 3 weeks to have a poison put in my veins that nearly killed me the first time I had it!! She changed her tune after thar and was my new best friend. It's a shame you have to fight for all this financial help. I can't remember exactly how much my scans were. I do know that they bulk billed one and I had to pay the difference on the other one. I think the difference was around $300 or $400. Yours do sound expensive. Mine were through Queensland x-Ray. Maybe you could ask about the bulk billing of one. They might accept your Medicare payment? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Now in regards to the health fund, give them a call as it's not something they advertise(cause that would be smart) but most cover a small part accomodation. I think you need a form filled out from your Dr (my Gp did mine). I know its so much to take in and so much paperwork, I felt like I needed a PA. Just put it all neatly in a file til you are strong enough to deal with it. Lastly the other breast? I was like you and wanted them both off. My surgeon said it was more important to just take the one with cancer in and get it healed pronto so I could start chemo again YAY! He did say however if when it was all over and I was well again if I still felt the same way he would take the other one at the same time as the reconstruction. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now I am so much stronger and have had time to really research my options and make an informed choice. I am now ready for that surgery. One day at a time is all you can do. Hang in there, it does get better and this site is great. I didn't use it before, and wish I did! Big hugs to you. Paula :)