Banana garbage!
Day 6 - after round 1.
Chemical hangover remains the same. It's quite an effort to even stay upright. Food is not my friend anymore either..I ate a banana yesterday and it actually tasted like garbage, you know when you open the otto bin and that smell? it tasted like THAT! So it seems my diet will consist of strawberry jam on toast, weet bix, tomato toasties, yogurt and chicken noodle soup!
Something that's foremost in my mind, other than getting through this, is the impact my illness has on everyone else. It even effects the dog! He follows me around, checks on me and is so gentle with me. I am almost tortured thinking about how this is affecting my friends and family, in particular my husband and children.
My children are grown now and that may be a good thing when it comes to things like this, it can also be a bad thing. You see I think when kids are little they somehow are able to make big things not big, their innocence is their protector. But when you have grown children, you are constantly worried about what they are thinking and feeling. They have their own issues of everyday life to deal with and now a new and sometimes scary situation is added to the mix. I always have encouraged my kids to ask questions, not matter how silly and I am always up front and honest with my answers and I hope this has given them the tools to cope with things such as this. But, No matter what, I love them with all my heart...
Next is my husband....My poor hubby, I constantly ask him if he's OK...and he says.. are you? I often wonder what is going on inside his head. We were thrown in at the deep end and told to tread water and if I am exhausted already, I can only assume he is too. He has been to every single appointment, sat for hours for the start of my treatment,(with many more to come) taken on the cooking, the washing, the cleaning and even survived the supermarket all while working 6 days a week and parenting (it doesn't end just because they're grown! ) and looking after me. I know I always say, 'welcome to my world', but I do acknowledge that this is a big thing for a man to take on anytime, let alone as well as having a unwell spouse. We took a vow 25 years ago, in sickness and in health, I know I will be back to health in a while and we can get on with our lives.... I love you with all of my being.
I appreciate everything everyone is doing for me, no matter how big or small, the calls, the texts, the comments, the hugs, the visits, the meals...it all adds up to making this experience a little easier. Life goes on.......
- Tracy
