Forum Discussion
Cavemouse
10 years agoMember
Am I in denial?
Hi everyone,
this is my first time here and I was wondering how you all felt when first diagnosed. I was diagnosed on 27 Nov 2015 with IDC 12mm ER+ PR+ HER-.
My family and friends are all devastated at the news but I honestly don't feel upset, panicked,scared, anxious or anything else except positive. I feel as though I'm just going to get my appendix out with a bit of post radio therapy and that's that. Is this normal? It's been nearly 5 weeks now since I first saw the "dent" in my breast and when I felt it I just knew it was a cancer. So, maybe I've prepared myself. It's like I'm talking about someone else in a way. I always thought I'd be a nervous wreck but I'm not (yet). I'll probably fall in a heap later on.
Surgery is on wed 16Dec 2015 and I'm having a lumpectomy with total areola and nipple removed because of the position of tumour. Also SNB. I Am concerned about the radioactive injection on the morning of surgery as I've read some comments about how excruciating it is!!
Would love to hear of your experiences. Xxxx
28 Replies
- annebirdyMember
Good luck with surgery. I ended up having some vacuum assisted biopsies which weren't pleasant. Spent an hour squashed sideways in the mammogram machine while lots of local and prodding around took place. In comparison, a lot of the other needles have not been too bad!
Once you get past the initial day or so, it can be pretty boring in hospital. Take some mags or things to watch.
Best wishes. Anne
- CavemouseMember
Hi Annebirdy, after reading everyone's comments and experiences I'm feeling so much better now. It's good to see that feeling strong and positive is pretty common among us women. And, like you said, BC does seem to be more prevalent these days and doesn't have such dire outcomes anymore, that alone helps with feeling positive.
Im also not worried anymore about the lymphocintography either now. After all the biopsies etc I guess it can't be much worse lol.
So, surgery tomorrow ( or today ) , and I'm so happy that it's happening at last.
Audrey xxx
- CavemouseMember
Thank you for the welcome Ann-Marie. I'm grateful for this online community of BC warriors. It's such a powerful thing to have the support from people who are all in the same boat as you.
im sure I'll have a lot more questions in the future as things progress.
audrey xxx
- annebirdyMember
Good to stay positive. I think it is not the easiest managing everyone else's reactions. I think I was a bit shocked initially but its been a massive learning curve so I felt more and more comfortable with the treatment plan. There are friends that absolutely freak out and can't understand why I'm not devastated by it all. But I think a lot of women are practical and just want to 'get on with it'. It also feels much too common now too.
Don't worry about about whether you are in denial, but having said that...allow yourself some quiet time and to be angry, upset whenever you may want to. For me the worst bit was waiting for some of those initial test results (CT, bone scan etc). Once that was over with, I haven't been too upset about it all.
Re. lymphoscintography - I was expecting 1 needle and had 4 fine needles. The guy assisting told me it did hurt a bit - but then afterwards said he talked it up a bit so I wouldn't think it hurt as much. I'm developing such a phobia for needles now...but having said that, the needles for this procedure so much better than biopsies and even all the blood tests etc. The doctor did mine all so quickly too so it was over pretty soon. Definitely not excruciating!
Good luck with your surgery.
- Ann-MarieMember
Hi Cavemouse,
Just a quick hello and welcome to the online network. My name is Ann-Marie and I am the Online Community Coordinator at BCNA. As you have seen the members will support you any way they can. It's nice to read that you don't feel so alone anymore.
Ask away with as many questions as you like and I can help you out if you are looking for specific information from the website.
~Ann-Marie x
- CavemouseMember
Gosh it's great to hear all your stories and helpful tips. I don't feel so alone anymore. Even saying that makes me realise how alone I DID feel.
Thanks ladies, I really appreciate all your words of wisdom. So, bring on Wed surgery and I'll kick this wee 12mm sucker in the ass !! Lol.
??????
- Kim_RMember
Hi Cavemouse you sound normal to me! I finish radiation this week and most of the last six months feel like they have been happening to someone else. How could BC happen to me I am so healthy? And too busy for this shit. But you just get on with it there is no choice. I have had my share of anxiety and loosing it but you have to be pragmatic and a joke or two help.
all the best
Kim
- Kim_RMember
I have done yoga and mediated the last few years and this has helped me get though the tests and sitting for up to 5 hours having chemo. Breath and count good advise!
kim
- Kim_RMember
I did not have any pain with the injunction either very uneventful. Hope it goes well.
Kim
- Brenda5Member
I wasn't too upset either but my family and friends were devastated.
I was even ok with the mastectomy and SNB. By the way the needles for the ratioactive dye never hurt at all, I have had blood tests more painful than that. Waiting around for me 3 hours before surgery for the dye to get to where it was supposed to was the most annoying.
Sheer anger kept me going through those first few weeks and I kept trying to put a nice happy go lucky note on it all.
It was the second op I had the meltdown before. Yes my SNB turned out positive and I had to go in for the node clearance. All clear btw but I lost it. Bawled my eyes out in front of the doctors, bawled to hubby a whole day but when the surgery day came everyone was just so nice I was fine again.
Don't forget all the painkillers, tests etc do take their toll on mind and body so don't feel like you are being melodramatic if it happens to get overwhelming.
Accept any offers of help. People don't know what to do to try and make you feel better. My neighbours and parents cooked a few dinners which I did greatly appreciate. One neighbour even whipper snipped the garden and tidied up a bit. They were happy they could do something.