Adjusting to bad news, staying hopeful, changing habits
Hi,
I am a 44 year old mother of two girls, 3 and 7. Was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday evening after a mammogram and ultrasound in the morning. On Wednesday I saw a specialist who sent me for biopsies and scans. On Thursday afternoon I learnt that I have HER2 positive BC in my right breast (3x3cm with two smaller tumours nearby), and one lymph node biopsied because it was enlarged was also cancerous. A lump on the left was benign. It does not appear to have spread to bones, pelvis, liver etc however there were two 5mm nodules in my lung that might be BC. I am hoping they are something else but have to be prepared in case the cancer already is stage 4. I remember the doctor said it was grade 2-3 but not sure if that is the same thing as stage 2-3.
I have somehow lost the reports, so I can't look over the details until they are mailed but I have an appointment on Wednesday with a different specialist to plan treatment. I am glad that things are moving quickly but am still reeling from the news and wish the appointment was sooner. I think I will be having preadjuvant chemo and/or targeted treatment, followed by a mastectomy of the right breast in several months (with optional rebuild), however I have not met with the oncologist so am not sure what to expect.
I should have gotten to a GP weeks ago as I had noticed hardness over many months (which I had thought was related to it being dominant for milk production) and had a sore breast in early July, however because I was breastfeeding and fairly ignorant of BC I mistook the symptoms including a swollen lymph node for mastitis. Only when all pain went way and I noticed the boob seemed bigger and misshapen with a prominent lump did I get myself to a doctor. Waited a week and a half for the scan that showed it was as suspected a malignant carcinoma. Strange thing is it only started hurting again after I learned what it was.
I don't know much yet but am trying to learn a bit without scaring myself too much or googling into the night. My youngest daughter has weaned herself, and on the night of the diagnosis she accepted bedtime without breast, understanding that I have sick boobies and the doctor said we should stop. In the middle of the night she was desperate to breastfeed, and I allowed this briefly. That is the last time I fed her, and she has been proud of herself for giving it up but has wanted to kiss it and hug it today.
Next move is for me to give up smoking, a bad habit of mine for many years off and on, which is not easy when it has been a response to stress and I have been quite stressed at times. It must be done, as I understand that it increases the risk of metastasis (if it has not already happened) and I wouldn't want to invite another cancer along right now. But I am trying to be gentle with myself when I occasionally light them only to put them out shortly thereafter. I hope to eliminate this habit fully by Wednesday. I have to clean up my diet and prepare for the treatment. I was a lifelong vegetarian until my early thirties however I have eaten a tiny bit of fish in the past ten years. I eat lots of fruit and veg. However I do have too many sugary things and processed stuff so I need to cut the crap out of the shopping list.
Emotionally I have been struggling a bit and I should arrange some counselling to work through my feelings. My mother and friends have been amazing, my husband has been a good support but doesn't like to see me crying, which I think is just a normal thing from time to time in such a circumstance. I am being open and honest with the kids and have been giving them lots of love and sweetness. Honestly I am sometimes very scared but I am trying to be strong for myself and for everyone around me.
Sending love and understanding to others with BC, and those who have recently been diagnosed, it's pretty tough to take, huh?
I am a 44 year old mother of two girls, 3 and 7. Was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday evening after a mammogram and ultrasound in the morning. On Wednesday I saw a specialist who sent me for biopsies and scans. On Thursday afternoon I learnt that I have HER2 positive BC in my right breast (3x3cm with two smaller tumours nearby), and one lymph node biopsied because it was enlarged was also cancerous. A lump on the left was benign. It does not appear to have spread to bones, pelvis, liver etc however there were two 5mm nodules in my lung that might be BC. I am hoping they are something else but have to be prepared in case the cancer already is stage 4. I remember the doctor said it was grade 2-3 but not sure if that is the same thing as stage 2-3.
I have somehow lost the reports, so I can't look over the details until they are mailed but I have an appointment on Wednesday with a different specialist to plan treatment. I am glad that things are moving quickly but am still reeling from the news and wish the appointment was sooner. I think I will be having preadjuvant chemo and/or targeted treatment, followed by a mastectomy of the right breast in several months (with optional rebuild), however I have not met with the oncologist so am not sure what to expect.
I should have gotten to a GP weeks ago as I had noticed hardness over many months (which I had thought was related to it being dominant for milk production) and had a sore breast in early July, however because I was breastfeeding and fairly ignorant of BC I mistook the symptoms including a swollen lymph node for mastitis. Only when all pain went way and I noticed the boob seemed bigger and misshapen with a prominent lump did I get myself to a doctor. Waited a week and a half for the scan that showed it was as suspected a malignant carcinoma. Strange thing is it only started hurting again after I learned what it was.
I don't know much yet but am trying to learn a bit without scaring myself too much or googling into the night. My youngest daughter has weaned herself, and on the night of the diagnosis she accepted bedtime without breast, understanding that I have sick boobies and the doctor said we should stop. In the middle of the night she was desperate to breastfeed, and I allowed this briefly. That is the last time I fed her, and she has been proud of herself for giving it up but has wanted to kiss it and hug it today.
Next move is for me to give up smoking, a bad habit of mine for many years off and on, which is not easy when it has been a response to stress and I have been quite stressed at times. It must be done, as I understand that it increases the risk of metastasis (if it has not already happened) and I wouldn't want to invite another cancer along right now. But I am trying to be gentle with myself when I occasionally light them only to put them out shortly thereafter. I hope to eliminate this habit fully by Wednesday. I have to clean up my diet and prepare for the treatment. I was a lifelong vegetarian until my early thirties however I have eaten a tiny bit of fish in the past ten years. I eat lots of fruit and veg. However I do have too many sugary things and processed stuff so I need to cut the crap out of the shopping list.
Emotionally I have been struggling a bit and I should arrange some counselling to work through my feelings. My mother and friends have been amazing, my husband has been a good support but doesn't like to see me crying, which I think is just a normal thing from time to time in such a circumstance. I am being open and honest with the kids and have been giving them lots of love and sweetness. Honestly I am sometimes very scared but I am trying to be strong for myself and for everyone around me.
Sending love and understanding to others with BC, and those who have recently been diagnosed, it's pretty tough to take, huh?
