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Bearteggie's avatar
Bearteggie
Member
12 years ago

2nd Post Op Appointment

Yesterday I had my second post op appointment with Surgeon.  All healing nicely but still no word on when I will be seeing oncologist.  Apparently they had their multidisciplinary meeting last Thursday but didn't have all my results.  At the consult yesterday they couldn't find the result, which they did in the end but it left me feeling very anxious.  The team will be meeting again this Thursday and appointment letter will be sent to me same day.  However, the breast care nurse knows what my treatment will be:  6 months chemo followed by 6 weeks radiotherapy because the cancer spread to 8/23 lymph nodes. Yes, I am going to lose my hair.  All starting early in the New Year.

I came away very upset even though I already knew basically what I was in for.  Came straight home and ordered hats, turbans etc as my way of preparing for the inevitable.

I feel so sad for my family and of course myself as our life has been turned upside down and that the best part of 2014 is going to be difficult for all of us.  I worry about my husband because he seems too strong.  I try very hard to have a good cry in private because he has and is being amazing.  Of course sometimes I let the tears flow, like yesterday when he picked my up from the hospital.

I have been trying to have BC free days.  I have put all my BC literature away.  I figure if I need it I can go to it, rather than have it lying around the family area. 

My mantra is:  Don't rob yourself of today by worring about the "what ifs" of tomorrow.  It is easier said than done though when I am still sore from surgery and having so much material to read.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

Love Joy xx

 

6 Replies

  • Bearteggie's avatar
    Bearteggie
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Robyn,

    Thank you for your lovely response to my post.  Like you and your family we talk about each others feelings about BC a lot.  My husband like most husbands feels he has to fix everything and with this he knows he can't but he feels his role is to keep me happy and help me not to take my mind to dark places or race ahead.  Like it is said all the time here, "one day at a time" .  He is so good at this and his strength rubs off on my son who I know is looking at his father gaging his response to know how he himself should handle this.  It has brought us closer in that we are more affectionate, patient and more tolerant of each other.  Vigilant in helping ease the load on each other.

    I haven't had an appointment with oncologist yet and waiting on letter from hospital to advise when.  It will be being posted to me today after their multidisciplinary meeting.  They were waiting on one more result which is there now, to finalise treatment plan.  Your oncologists advice to shave your head before chemo sounds like a good idea to me and I will get ready to do that too.

    Thank you too for your encouragement, very timely as this morning I have been feeling very down.  It doesn't help still being sore from surgery 3 weeks ago.  

    I hope you are feeling well and happy too Robyn.

    Love

    Joy xx

  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    I understand exactly what you mean when you say you are worrying for your family.I am up to 4th round of chemo,and had a mastectomy almost 3 months ago now.In the beginning,after the initial shock,I put all that reading stuff away in my cupboard,but as time has gone on,I have realised that our life has changed at the moment.My husband and daughter have been incredibly strong ,and we have had some very good talks about how they are feeling.I have come to realise,that my husband didn't know how to help me when I was down.He said,"I don't know what to do".So out of all this,we have definitely grown closer .We communicate our feelings about BC and it's affect on our family,on a daily basis.There really is no getting away from it,so for us,it's about adjusting our life at present,and living with it.We talk more,we walk together,we are more tolerant of each other,and I guess we appreciate each other more.(not that we didn't before,but it's different now).I just wanted to reply to your comment on hats and turbans.I did the same thing!My daughter ordered me so many,and each day for about a fortnight,we would have a courier knocking on our door!I also had my head shaved,on the advice of my oncologist.I did it one week before chemo,and it was the best thing for me,to do it that way.Hope you are feeling a bit more upbeat today Joy.There will be lots more ups and downs,but it will come to an end.:) Take care..xoxo. Robyn
  • Bearteggie's avatar
    Bearteggie
    Member
    12 years ago

    Oh, I thought you meant he was hit by a car.  There you go my anxiety is off the richter scale and thinking the worst.  I am so sorry.   I hope he will be feeling better soon.  You must have been wondering what I was talking about.

    Housework can wait, it isn't going to go anywhere, but I do know what you mean though and it is upsetting to see your partner being affected by this event in your life and in his.  

    Sorry for the misunderstanding.

    Love

    Joy xx

  • Hazel_M's avatar
    Hazel_M
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hey Joy, my partner just got run down and ended up with bronchitus. He was trying to be everything for me. Driving me to many appointments, sitting with me, comforting me, it all got too much for him. Needless to say the housework has slipped, but that's not a priority at the moment. 

    Love

    Joy

  • Bearteggie's avatar
    Bearteggie
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Hazel

    Thank you.  I was thinking exactly the same thing that we sound similar in how we think about things and our anxiety.  I am sorry to hear about your partner.   How severe were the injuries of this accident?  I can't imagine how much more stress this has put on your household. 

    I am finding this site so helpful and encouraging thanks to everyone being so open and honest about their feelings.  So thank you for that.

    Love

    Joy

     

     

  • Hazel_M's avatar
    Hazel_M
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Joy, just read your post. You sound very similar to me, I can understand what you are going through. You are right, even though you are expecting things, it's still upsetting. I literally saw my partner getting run down and he is now unwell which has put the household in a slump. As you said, our partners try so hard to stay strong, I have hid some tears, because I didn't want to be a greater burden. I, like you, put away my BC paperwork, I found when it was on our table it was a constant reminder. I only get it out now when I have an appointment. I like your mantra, we must be running along paralell lines, I know you haven't started treatment yet, maybe it's the anxiety that makes us similar. Anyhow Joy, take care and together all of us can make it through this.

    Hazel xx