Thankyou all so much for your kind words and understanding @Locksley; @Katie46; @arpie. Great suggestions. I have listened to a few of Charlotte's podcasts. Yes, I need to just take a step at a time and not 'overthink it'. I thought the anxiety induced by the diagnosis and crazy new world I'm in would settle once the surgery was done. My friends and family tell me I'm amazingly upbeat but I don't answer the phone of course when I'm down. I've been outside walking a lot and that lifts my mood. Losing my main support system (husband) two years ago makes it very hard to soldier on alone.
