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waiting is making me feel sick
Hi all, I am new to this forum. I found a lump 2 weekends ago, went the Dr on the Tuesday, Wednesday had mamogram, ultrasound and fine needle aspiration. Mamogram confirmed there was something there and Dr scared the living daylights out of me asking me if I had income protection as I would need alot of time off work. Monday I got the results of the biopsy, Dr couldn't really tell me anything other than it was being referred to the breast clinic at the hospital and now I need to wait to hear back. From what I can gather that's written on the paperwork the lump I found is cancerours and something about the node as well. I am near wetting myself and feeling so ill, can't eat properly can't sleep properly. I'm 38 with 2 children, husband, work full time and just having my career take off. I am absolutely sick with worry.
I have amazing family and friends around me supporting us, but I just can't help but worry. I have returned to work to try and keep my mind busy until I get the hospital appointment. I have put Dr google away as that just made it worse trying to understand individual words in the report.
Does anyone have any suggestions of how to calm the nerves/stomach please?
I have amazing family and friends around me supporting us, but I just can't help but worry. I have returned to work to try and keep my mind busy until I get the hospital appointment. I have put Dr google away as that just made it worse trying to understand individual words in the report.
Does anyone have any suggestions of how to calm the nerves/stomach please?
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- Hi Amy. Your story sounds similar to mine. I was also 38 when diagnosed last August. I have 2 boys too- 18 months old and 12 years old. I had a lump and a node involved. The first few weeks are definately the worst as you start getting overloaded with information. Once you know your plan of attack you really will feel a lot better. From then on it’s one day at a time and take things as they come. I tried to stay super positive and determined to beat it and I tried not to worry about what ‘might’ happen.
You need some positive stories now so I can tell you I was one of the lucky ones who got through 2 surgeries, chemo and radiation with hardly any side effects and yesterday I heard the magic words that I am now in remission. Looking forward to returning to work soon. It’s certainly not an easy journey but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and now I’m out the other side and feeling good.
I really hope things work out well for you and your appointment happens soon so you can get some much needed answers. We are all here if you have questions or need support. - Ah don't worry about it @duxx1234! I think your finger/mouse hit 'quote' instead of 'like'. We've all done it at some point I'm sure. Thank you for your kind words. K xox
- Can somebody tell me please what button I am pressing incorrectly that copied this article! I meant to hit the ‘like’ button not copy it.
Sorry Kate @kmakm I love everything you post; you write with such compassion and empathy . I think I said in one of my earlier posts that I am a computer ‘gumby’ Hence why I don’t do a lot of posting!!
it makes me nervous!! - kmakm said:Hi Amy, and welcome to this forum. I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I have.
You poor love! The beginning is just the absolute pits. Waiting is awful and the fear of the unknown is a shocker. Please be reassured that you are not alone in either your emotions or circumstances. Also know that there are a lot of services and help available to you.
There are a number of things that can take the edge off this time. We're all different so they vary from person to person. The thing that worked best for me was good old fashioned distraction. I gave my brain a rest by watching a lot of easy tv. I also saw a counsellor very early on who let me bawl my eyes out, at length, in her office a couple of times. As well as being a great valve release, this was valuable for me because with four kids and an elderly father-in-law at home, I couldn't really do it there.
That counsellor put me onto a breathing exercise that can help slow and reset your nervous system that is in overdrive at this time. So breathe in for four seconds, hold it for three, and exhale for six. Do that several times and you may feel a little calmer.
Meditation can help too if you want to give it a go. I used it a lot early on. I can't quite tell you how it worked but it seemed to create a breathing space in my highly overactive brain. I use the Headspace app on my phone. It has 'packs' of different lengths for cancer, anxiety, panic etc.
You can access a Breastcare nurse who can be amazing to talk to and advise you at any stage of a breast cancer or possible breast cancer diagnosis. Call the breast clinic at the hospital and ask for one. If they can't help you they should be able to point you in the right direction.
You can always ring the BCNA hotline on 1800 500 258. There's nothing the fab folk there haven't heard and they'll be able to assist, guide and comfort you.
What's worked for you in times of stress before? Exercise, a long walk or a swim? Hanging out with friends? Some people like to research the shit out of a subject, others prefer not to know too much. The important thing is to do what's right for you, be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself. Accept all offers of help!
There is a young women group here you might like to join as well. There might be some specific advice there you could find useful.
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women
Most of us feel highly inconvenienced by a diagnosis of cancer. I mean, who has time for this crap?! But if you are getting on this train you just have to surrender to the notion that getting well is going to take time. It sucks! But this too shall pass. We're lucky to have world leading cancer treatment available to us here.
Everyone here is in your corner and rooting for you. We'll hold your hand as you step through the maze. So hang in there, take deep breaths, and ask as many questions, rant and vent as you need. Try to take things one day at a time, even one hour at a time. Remain present, put one foot in front of the other and try not cross any bridges until you come to them. Big hug, Kate xox - thanks @kezmusc yes I have found wine of great comfort :) My plan is definately to just keep working and going about life as normal as I can and work this in around it. Until I know more from the hospital, I don't know what is coming up next, so trying not to worry/stress too much about stuff I don't know about yet.
- No much to add Amy, but welcome. As you can see, this an awesome place to voice your concerns and fears,
Everyone here has been there and remembers just how scary it was at the beginning. Waiting just sux.
I found distraction worked best at the start and tried to keep everything as normal as was humanly possible. Easier said than done mostly. Wine helped as well :)
Personally I think it was a bit rude of the Dr to land you with the income protection thing right now when you don't have all or hardly any information.
I managed to work the majority of the time through treatment and there are many on here that got through treatment ok. Great idea to contact the breast care nurse.
Fingers crossed for you.
All the best.
xoxoxo - @AmyB - waiting is the absolute worst!! Thinking of u and sending big hugs.
- It's all been said, Amy but welcome. Waiting is the hardest but you're doing the right thing by staying off Dr Google. We've all been where you are and know what you're going through. With regards to work, who knows at this stage what you'll be able to manage but check out income protection anyway. And...one step at a time.
- Thinking of you @AmyB . I like you felt so sick when first diagnosed and I too followed the above advise and found ginger beer calmed my tummy down. Its only natural to worry ( I think I was born a worrier!) and whilst you probably don't want to go and do anything energetic like a step or combat class :D :D , walking and deep breaths is good exercise and calming too. All the best and I hope you get good news ! x
- That's all good to hear Amy! I can tell you that in the last six months I have felt more loved than at any other time in my life. It's a beautiful feeling. Kate xox
