very very newbie - Im good.. or am i?
so im new to a diagnosis of breast cancer- i am single with 2 children recently left home- Right from the get go 4 weeks ago i thought there were issues- with country living i have had bumps and thu...
Forum Discussion
I can remember talking with a friend (who is a Dr I might add) who was a blubbering mess on the phone and I ended up supporting her to cope with my breast cancer diagnosis. Lets just say I avoided contact with her a lot after that I quite frankly I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with it.
My story was different in that I did keep my bc secret from family until I had a plan and surgery date except my husband. The reason for this was my sister in law was dying the same week from a different cancer and family were already distraught. My boys had been visiting them regularly with us and had watched her deterioration. I didn't want people instantly thinking that was my future (which of course is what they did think once they knew )
My work buddies knew as I was there when I had my biopsy (I work as a Nurse) and when I got results and went home a blubbering mess. Work buddies prefer to just let you be as don't want all that emotional stuff and being Xmas lots were away anyway.
So I had one sister that was with me through it always. We are close and sometimes she was just there watching telly with me or getting me out the house post surgery or during chemo as I was really quite sick. I rarely discussed my real fears as I knew she just wouldn't cope with it.
I did set up a private facebook group that I called "Kathys canxer journey" and invited people in. The private group and photos aren't visible on my main fb site unless you are actually a member. It was one place people could check in to see what was happening. I photographed my journey and reported in appointment outcomes etc. I added in links about surgery, chemo, side effects etc. So it was an education experience for people also. I also set up fb messenger talk groups. Some friends. Some work buddies. One close group family. I could then report a little more detail and just vent. It meant people could then just provide text support when I needed it and that way I didn't need to individually update everybody. These things really helped me feel connected but not invade my personal home space...and I got to talk when I needed. It also kept family in the loop living far away.
When I was really worried about stuff I talked only to 1 sis and hubby or blogged on here. Once I knew where it was going I then blogged on fb about my scare and how I needed to deal with it privately. It gave people a real inside view of what bc was like for me.
We totally get you feeling overwhelmed by the sudden support. It's really hard to tackle but the fb thing might help. You might need those people really soon in a more physical sense once surgery and treatment is in full swing.
I hope all goes smoothly and think your camping escape with your horses was a brilliant idea. Actually explaining in a blog how that helped you to re-centre yourself and helped calm you might make people respect the person you are.
And we are here to listen to you vent when you need. Kath x
My story was different in that I did keep my bc secret from family until I had a plan and surgery date except my husband. The reason for this was my sister in law was dying the same week from a different cancer and family were already distraught. My boys had been visiting them regularly with us and had watched her deterioration. I didn't want people instantly thinking that was my future (which of course is what they did think once they knew )
My work buddies knew as I was there when I had my biopsy (I work as a Nurse) and when I got results and went home a blubbering mess. Work buddies prefer to just let you be as don't want all that emotional stuff and being Xmas lots were away anyway.
So I had one sister that was with me through it always. We are close and sometimes she was just there watching telly with me or getting me out the house post surgery or during chemo as I was really quite sick. I rarely discussed my real fears as I knew she just wouldn't cope with it.
I did set up a private facebook group that I called "Kathys canxer journey" and invited people in. The private group and photos aren't visible on my main fb site unless you are actually a member. It was one place people could check in to see what was happening. I photographed my journey and reported in appointment outcomes etc. I added in links about surgery, chemo, side effects etc. So it was an education experience for people also. I also set up fb messenger talk groups. Some friends. Some work buddies. One close group family. I could then report a little more detail and just vent. It meant people could then just provide text support when I needed it and that way I didn't need to individually update everybody. These things really helped me feel connected but not invade my personal home space...and I got to talk when I needed. It also kept family in the loop living far away.
When I was really worried about stuff I talked only to 1 sis and hubby or blogged on here. Once I knew where it was going I then blogged on fb about my scare and how I needed to deal with it privately. It gave people a real inside view of what bc was like for me.
We totally get you feeling overwhelmed by the sudden support. It's really hard to tackle but the fb thing might help. You might need those people really soon in a more physical sense once surgery and treatment is in full swing.
I hope all goes smoothly and think your camping escape with your horses was a brilliant idea. Actually explaining in a blog how that helped you to re-centre yourself and helped calm you might make people respect the person you are.
And we are here to listen to you vent when you need. Kath x