Hello Tracy
Isn't the mind a powerful thing ? The things it dreams up for us in the night can be overwhelming at times.
Before my surgery I made my Affirmation: "I am strong. I am positive. I am proud". I printed it out on pretty paper and stuck it up on the wall opposite my hospital bed. It helped me get through. You are welcome to use that, too.
Try to take each day as it comes but always ask questions, don't let anyone get out of your room leaving you with questions on which to dwell.
Good luck for your surgery. You will be in my thoughts.
Hugs Summer :-)