welcome @Melc503 , you've found the right place. We're all on here very much the same. BC, tuff, sometimes not feeling tuff, tuff and teary, and control freaks. But here we can let it all our anxieties and frustrations out and read up on some fantastic threads to help with advice on each stage of BC and beyond we're going through.
i spent one day last week lurking over all the radiation threads and armed myself with so much info I felt quite relaxed about fronting at my first radiation session .... and found it just as fellow bc women had described.
Take it all one day at a time. Focus on your lumpectomy on Wednesday. The pathology report from the op will give you and your team a treatment plan .
Hang in there girl. Sometimes it's good to let those closest to you know you're struggling. After all you want their support and often we show our brave side and wonder why no one is that interested or appears to care
Sending you hugs and hankies to wipe away those tears. You take care. XXXX