Dear LisaO
You have drawn a rotten card but it's not the last card you'll draw. I've had a mastectomy, no reconstruction, one affected node, 6 months of chemo, herceptin for 12 months and hormonal therapy for 4 and a half years.
I have also had several overseas trips including Iceland, took on a new job, became a grandmother (grandchild 2 due in 4 weeks) and there's not much twilight in my life yet (and I am nearly 72). Don't let the fear take away your life. Cancer is serious but ordinary men and women can get through treatment with some luck and lots of determination. Your dreams haven't ended, they just might take a little longer.
The first step is done, you won't know how chemo affects you until you start and the sooner started, the sooner it's over. Take heart and believe you still have a future worth living. Best wishes.