I firstly wanted to say Hi as I am 45 and received my surprise diagnosis earlier this year as well. I went in for a mamo and ultrasound due to what appeared to be some mastitis near my right nipple. That turned out to be a cyst, of which many were found (explains my 'lumpy' breasts), however microcalcifications were also picked up in a different area on that breast. No lump was palpable and nothing showed on the ultrasound. A stereotactic biopsy revealed IDC around the patch of DCIS. Thankfully my surgeon got me to have an MRI at that point to get a better idea of the size and spread before we went any further discussing surgery options.
Long story short, it showed as just the 1 area, other breast clear, lymph nodes not enlarged. Due to anxiety and wanting to avoid radiotherapy, I had a skin sparing mastectomy on that side with immediate implant reconstruction and sentinel node biopsy. Nodes came back clear and cancer is definitely just isolated to that one area.
Even then, probably due to anxiety, I was still tempted to have a DMX. In your shoes, with changes visible in the other breast, *I* would have a double. But that's me, my anxiety, wanting to have as few surgeries and recoveries as possible, etc. Everyone is different.
Practically speaking, I'm glad I had just the one side done and went with an implant. My kids are 7 and 13, I work full time on my feet (primary teacher) and my husband works long hours. So mobility and recovery are big factors for me. If my kids were older, I would have probably been ok having both breasts and abdomen surgery recovery, as they would be less dependent on my labour at home (especially the young one). I may go the option of DMX/flesh recon once my implant is due for replacing.
Do joint the choosing reconstruction group. It was such a great help in deciding between my choices!!! I've posted in there and will put some new photos in today (5 1/2 weeks post surgery).
Also, I sped up the public hospital process by doing some appointments privately. It's not made it hugely more expensive (around $50-60 out of pocket per specialist appointment). Many surgeons practise in both public and private hospitals. I saw my surgeon privately and he could book me in to the public hospital (he didn't end up being the one who did the surgery). He then also referred me to the PS who saw me within days and added her part of the surgery onto the booking. I still had to wait a month, due to the hospital needing to coordinate 2 surgeons and a longer surgery. But the whole booking/consulting part was faster than the hospital system. So if you can afford this option, you could call your hospital to get the details of any of their breast surgeons who also consul privately.