Second time around

It is a hard decision, I honestly couldn't have made a decision for a Mastectomy it just wasn't something I ever wanted. When I had a recurrence however, I didn't want to tempt fate again, the Genetic Counselors were really good, they said the odds of me getting anything in the other breast is as the normal population as its separate. Hardest thing is all we have is what is here in front of us right now and where we've been in order to make a good decision. Having had my mastectomy/diep flap recon now, it wasn't nearly as psychological as I thought and I guess as the Diep flap is using my tummy fat and flap, so its all still me. I didnt want an implant and lucky I guess I couldnt have one as Id had radiation. 

I think I just learned that I had to make a decision that I could live with nobody else, and know I'd done enough for me and what I was comfortable with. It's so incredibly personal, so I say trust yourself, whats your gut feeling because that will be your best start. 
xxMelinda

Thanks for your replies, see that's what makes me wonder if I should have the bilateral done,with you Melinda going through with the same as I did with one breast and you still got it back in that breast. I had Arimidex for three years but was so painful I ended up on Tamoxifen, so went through that and still got it again. I am truly torn between the decisions

I'm sorry to hear that. It is incredibly difficult to know what the best option is!  Sometimes I wished I didn't have to make those decisions. Mastectomy or not? I have an appointment in Nov for genetic testing. Hopefully I won't have the gene. Do what you think is best for you. It's never easy, if only we had a crystal ball! But would we really want to know

@Pink I'm sorry to hear of your story and yet totally understand exactly what you are saying. I was first diagnosed in 2011 DCIS left breast, I had a lumpectomy, radiation and Tamoxifen for 4 years. In 2015 I had a recurrence in the same breast, but this time IDC 2.5cm Tumor within a year in between my checkups, ER+ Stage 2, Grade 3. Nodes were clear. I had to have Chemo and no radiation as couldnt have it twice on the same side. I then went onto Arimidex January 2016. Due to recurrence my Surgeon and Oncologist recommended a Mastectomy, so a year after treatment finished in February 2017 I had a single mastectomy/diep flap reconstruction. I had genetic testing and it was negative, they all agreed that a double mastectomy wasn't warranted and I certainly didn't want it.

I have to admit, hindsight is a beautiful thing...although with the recurrence I couldnt have avoided chemo even if I had of done a Mastectomy then. I found chemo incredibly difficult and I'll be honest it's not something I think I'd do again if I have a choice. For me having been through it all, if I were unlucky again I would absolutely opt for a Mastectomy/recon again and no treatment especially if it is early. I only say that as I did aggressive treatment for DCIS in 2011 and it came back anyway. 

Lots to think about, but I absolutely agree and understand how you are feeling and thinking of how to proceed. Big hugs you know you're body and you know what you can and cannot do. 
Melinda xo