Hello,Two years ago I was diagnosed with BC and had a lumpectomy, radiation and tamoxifen. Last week I received the news that I have 2 separate cancers in the other breast. Both Her2, one hormone receptive the other not.The surgeon recommends a double mastectomy and reconstruction. I'm finding making the decision to have a reconstruction very difficult. I am 58, not partnered and a priest. Does anyone have thoughts? I am struggling with it all. Thanks, Roxanne.

Thank you so much everyone for sharing. I also joined the reconstruction group. I've now decided to just go with the mastectomy and have reconstruction at a later date if I want to. The whole big surgery was just a step too far for me atm. Surgery now on Friday.

Good luck on Friday @rladdley I’m 55. I was due to have my recon at the same time as my single mastectomy in April but this was cancelled due to covid.Turned out to be a blessing in disguise......I’m now considering having a mastectomy on the other side for peace of mind and going flat. Just want to get on with my life. I wear a prosthetic if I feel like it. Its hard not to get get caught up in the rush when your head is spinning at diagnosis. My advice is don’t rush into a decision.My onco reckons you’ve arrived at a decision when you wake up every day and are sure. I’m 98% sure :) Cazxx

Hi @rladdley You'll find a discussion I started last week called 'Going Flat with Pride'. The title is self-explanatory. :)I'm 61 and single after a couple of marriages and another long-term relationship. The last thing I want to do is attract another man.My surgery was on 18th August this year and I now have a thin, pink scar across my chest. It is not unsightly. Being flat is freeing! I've seen so many posts about failed reconstructions, etc. As much as I like my surgeon, I really don't want to see him again.My tumour was invasive, triple positive. An examination of the removed breast tissue found a tumour hiding in the other breast. Good decision on my part for a DMX.Many women are going flat with pride. This is a movement called #beflat (among others).Your breasts, your decision. But since you asked, I thought I'd give you the benefit of my experience. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. x

Fair comment, but I assume the man in my life would honour my decision about my body! I’m all for shared decision making about things we actually share, but his body, his decision and vice versa.

Hi @rladdley ,if you are not sure you can ask to have skin sparing surgery to make reconstruction easier later if you decide. This is what i did. I suppose what it looks like is a deflated breast (i dont have a nipple). Not quite flat. I also have a concave area at the top of my chest where breast tissue was removed. Breast tissue is tearshaped and goes close to your collarbone. I didnt expect that so worth knowing about. After having a mastectomy and nearly through chemo i dont personally feel like going through another large surgery with expanders and things and am not uncomfortable with the way it looks. I think you forget the detail of pain so who knows in 6 months I may feel differently. The other factor of course is wearing a bra which may be tricky for a bit. If you dont mind appearance you can go braless or when ready still get a prosthetic. I confess that i have prosthetic and still not entirely comfortable wearing as im a little sensitive in chest area. Im 48 and im inclined to wear my scars with pride but once i go back to work and wear a prosthetic regularly that could alter my opinion too. I had single mastectomy so I am lopsided at this point. It really is how you feel and not others. Being monoboobed is not a problem for me even without a prosthetic. It is a very hard decision to make at a time when your head is spinning. You could ask your surgeon for other options and see what you think. Michele

Reconstruction or not? | BCNA Online Network

23 Replies

Afraser
Member
5 years ago
Dear @rladdley

I am not sure that your relationship status or your calling are particularly relevant, the one thing that matters is how you feel about going flat. One option of course is not to have any immediate reconstruction and consider it later when you have had time to experience being flat. Reconstruction takes time and can be expensive but many women have felt it was right for them (not anyone else) and are happy with the outcome. I’m mono-boobed and happy to be that way. I use a prosthesis as I would very obviously look lopsided otherwise but if my other breast had to go, I think I would remain unreconstructed. Age may be a factor - as one gets older, one may be much more accepting of one’s body, and love it however far it may slip below ‘the ideal’. It’s harder to be that wise and confident at 25! Best wishes whatever you decide.
Anj_j2020
Member
5 years ago
...and check out this gutsy lady...
https://www.timesofisrael.com/performing-artist-poses-bare-chested-after-double-mastectomy/
Anj_j2020
Member
5 years ago
Hi @rladdley You'll find a discussion I started last week called 'Going Flat with Pride'. The title is self-explanatory. :)
I'm 61 and single after a couple of marriages and another long-term relationship. The last thing I want to do is attract another man.
My surgery was on 18th August this year and I now have a thin, pink scar across my chest. It is not unsightly. Being flat is freeing!
I've seen so many posts about failed reconstructions, etc. As much as I like my surgeon, I really don't want to see him again.
My tumour was invasive, triple positive. An examination of the removed breast tissue found a tumour hiding in the other breast. Good decision on my part for a DMX.
Many women are going flat with pride. This is a movement called #beflat (among others).
Your breasts, your decision. But since you asked, I thought I'd give you the benefit of my experience.
Feel free to ask any questions you may have. x

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Reconstruction or not?

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