I too was scared of what was to be with my planned bi lateral mastectomy.......I had mine after lumpectomies and 3 weeks after chemo ended......by this stage I had become comfortable with the notion that I will lose my HH cup size breasts as it was in my plan laid out to me from the very beginning....the day of the surgery was surreal.....an it wasn't as bad as I had worked myself up for.....it took me two days to actually look at my scars....when I did i thought I would cry, but i didn't.....a calm and inner peace swept over me instead.....I examined my new sillouhette and thought, well there you go, it's (the cancer) gone! I was in hospital for 10 days due to blood pressure issues and me just not feeling strong enough to go home.....I did have a melt down, but it was more the fact of what i had been through.....I was alive! I kicked cancer's ass!
I now have expanders in and am filled to a large C which has taken some getting used to after being so big! I have my transfer surgery next year after I have fully healed from radiation (finished 27/10/16). I have no nipples and am not particuarly worried if i get some or not!
This is such a tumoultuos time....every emotion courses through your veins....your mind goes round and round....and yes you need your Mum no matter how old you are....I remember my mother in law calling for hers when she was terminally ill in hospital (she was 78).....My Mum wants nothing to do with me or my diagnosis (even though she had bc too!) so I don't know what hurts more, them being here and not caring or just not being here......
Your Mum is watching over you, she did the last time too....you had signs, but didn't realise....your Mum is always near, ever so subtley she will give you signs....the sun suddenly appearing....her scent.....roses.......daisies.......take notice of your dreams, for she gives you important messages in them.....
I wish you all the best for your reconstruction....you will learn to love the new you....sending love and light - Tracy <3
