Sylva
4 years agoMember
Overwhelmed
Hi, I don’t want to write an essay here but I feel like I have a lot to fit in. I’m 58 and I was diagnosed back on October 14th. I’ve had a delay as I caught a virus which as I have COPD hospitalised me and then the steroids they treated it with gave me pancreatitis. I have been started on letrozole and it’s terrifying me as I have very severe osteoporosis...which has caused over the past 16 years 11 femur fractures (all requiring surgery), 3 broken arms, numerous broken ribs, a broken heel and I have lost all my teeth. My spine is so bent it’s pushing on my lungs and causing the COPD and I can no longer hold my head up straight as my neck is damaged. Unfortunately I also have psoriatic arthritis which has badly affected my feet and lower legs. I have been permanently in a wheelchair for the last year. My surgeon has told me that as I’m having treatment for the osteoporosis (finally) the benefits of letrozole outweigh the risks.
So my surgery is scheduled for December 16th and I feel like it’s been on the backburner and now it’s getting real. I’m having a mastectomy on my right breast and removal of all the lymph nodes. I have a large tumour and I’ve chosen mastectomy as surgery itself is a bit challenging with COPD and I was told I’m not a candidate for chemotherapy. My surgeon said it was the option with the chance of less follow up treatment. I’m also not a candidate for reconstruction which shouldn’t matter but makes me feel quite unhappy. I’m really frightened of losing my breast.....I thought I would be okay as I’ve lost so much of myself because of illness but I’m not okay. I keep thinking what will I wear and how will I hide my missing boob? When inside I’m terrified of the whole thing. The drains, the recovery, which they’ve told me may take me longer, everything. I’ve had too much time, I’ve read so much and watched a lot and I’m overwhelmed.
So my surgery is scheduled for December 16th and I feel like it’s been on the backburner and now it’s getting real. I’m having a mastectomy on my right breast and removal of all the lymph nodes. I have a large tumour and I’ve chosen mastectomy as surgery itself is a bit challenging with COPD and I was told I’m not a candidate for chemotherapy. My surgeon said it was the option with the chance of less follow up treatment. I’m also not a candidate for reconstruction which shouldn’t matter but makes me feel quite unhappy. I’m really frightened of losing my breast.....I thought I would be okay as I’ve lost so much of myself because of illness but I’m not okay. I keep thinking what will I wear and how will I hide my missing boob? When inside I’m terrified of the whole thing. The drains, the recovery, which they’ve told me may take me longer, everything. I’ve had too much time, I’ve read so much and watched a lot and I’m overwhelmed.