Everything you described is also how I felt. As said above 👆🏻, being a planner will be in your favour if you ask for all results and ask to be informed enough so you can be involved in all the decisions. And please remember, most of the time the situation is not as scary as we have imagined it. But don’t expect to feel like you’re in control of everything, cos that could be part of the problem. Just trust that your medical experts will do their best to help you, but also trust your own body and mind.