Out of control and in shock
Where do I start? I recently changed GPs and was working on a general health check you know the one do these tests everything will be fine no drama - always has been. Trot off for a mammogram and the...
Forum Discussion
@SoldierCrab may have some advice about helping teenagers on the spectrum cope.
I have 3 kids, aged 11, 12 & 15 at diagnosis but have all had birthdays since. We've been doing the exam thing for the eldest recently. Mine have had certain chores around housecleaning and day-to-day cleanup, pre-diagnosis. That was invaluable as it meant getting them to do that stuff wasn't new (still needs some reminding). When I've been at my worst after surgery and chemo, the kids have taken on things like the washing and some of the cooking - they cooked a roast dinner for Christmas Day and decorated the pav! Under my supervision, but they did all the work and were really pleased with themselves.
My kids never met their auntie, my sister, as she died from bc a couple of years before my eldest was born so this was always going to be a tricky thing for them to face. My husband and I have been honest with them from the start and have told them that we will always tell them what is going on, just not the what-ifs. We've had some wobbles along the way - my heart broke when I saw my son's face after the call to say the cancer was more than expected; and general anxiety from one of my daughters. And I've hated having to let them down on things that once we would done without question.
You mentioned that your kids have a lot of activities - if there are team mates who live nearby, you may want to see if your kids can go with them - that's a practical help that will really make a difference.
With regard to work, while chemo has been doable for me, there is no way that I could have managed a day at work for most of it and the good days I've had were not particularly predictable. I admire those who can push through with this but not all of us can. Except for the first few days after AC treatments, I have generally done the morning school run which takes about 2 hours. I get home tired, can potter a bit for a couple of hours unless I've been to rehab exercise class after dropoff, then collapse, absolutely shattered for the rest of the afternoon. Some cope better than others. Hopefully, you'll be one who can manage easily but don't beat yourself up if you're not.
I have 3 kids, aged 11, 12 & 15 at diagnosis but have all had birthdays since. We've been doing the exam thing for the eldest recently. Mine have had certain chores around housecleaning and day-to-day cleanup, pre-diagnosis. That was invaluable as it meant getting them to do that stuff wasn't new (still needs some reminding). When I've been at my worst after surgery and chemo, the kids have taken on things like the washing and some of the cooking - they cooked a roast dinner for Christmas Day and decorated the pav! Under my supervision, but they did all the work and were really pleased with themselves.
My kids never met their auntie, my sister, as she died from bc a couple of years before my eldest was born so this was always going to be a tricky thing for them to face. My husband and I have been honest with them from the start and have told them that we will always tell them what is going on, just not the what-ifs. We've had some wobbles along the way - my heart broke when I saw my son's face after the call to say the cancer was more than expected; and general anxiety from one of my daughters. And I've hated having to let them down on things that once we would done without question.
You mentioned that your kids have a lot of activities - if there are team mates who live nearby, you may want to see if your kids can go with them - that's a practical help that will really make a difference.
With regard to work, while chemo has been doable for me, there is no way that I could have managed a day at work for most of it and the good days I've had were not particularly predictable. I admire those who can push through with this but not all of us can. Except for the first few days after AC treatments, I have generally done the morning school run which takes about 2 hours. I get home tired, can potter a bit for a couple of hours unless I've been to rehab exercise class after dropoff, then collapse, absolutely shattered for the rest of the afternoon. Some cope better than others. Hopefully, you'll be one who can manage easily but don't beat yourself up if you're not.