Out of control and in shock
Where do I start? I recently changed GPs and was working on a general health check you know the one do these tests everything will be fine no drama - always has been. Trot off for a mammogram and the...
Forum Discussion
@Sarnicad I too have twin 17 year old - boys at home - my daughter is 24 and teaches in the country - she moved out 3 weeks before my initial diagnosis. My sons are doing year 12 now but we're in year 11 when I was diagnosed.I am retired teacher so that helps as I don't have work pressure but spend a fair bit of time tutoring and teenage wrangling as hormones are rife ATM.
I have learnt over the years when times are tough to narrow my focus and shut down emotion to get through things. It doesn't mean I don't have them just I tend to leave them until the worst is over.
Re my kids I told them.whatbwasnhappening from the start and made it clear they could ask whatever they needed to when they needed to about my health. I learnt they weren't worried as they have seen me get thru things before and they regard me as strong/tough which I was surprised by but explains why I need to yell to get a hearing at times as they take a lot for granted and I have hung myself by being too much of a superwoman. I am working to dispel the myth as getting older - am 64 and yes I had menopause twins at 47 but that's another story.
I find teenage boys somewhat self centred and think mine have been cossetted a bit too much but they can and are learning but not without a bit of aggro in the house. Mine need to be asked to pitch in effort but will eventually. They have casual jobs and food clothes and entertainment is now largely their costs as is petrol for their cars - the food is largely as they are difficult to feed and prefer junk food like Maccas.
Think sister may have organised her kids a bit better than mine as my husband and I role reversed for 12 years ie I worked and he was Mr Mum who was much.more.lenient around the house than I would have been.
We are 20months post.my diagnosis and things are pretty much unchanged in our family life and the boys are doing well at school as well as entering social life independently. I have had other medical this year major eye surgery but they knew what was going on and were invited to ask anytime what they wanted to know. As a general rule they haven't asked for the reasons above but they know they can.
I also have a retired husband who has.been pretty supportive taking me to appointments and taking over washing cooking and cleaning when I couldn't - he is great at cleaning but cooking has been a bit basic but we haven't starved although a few vegetables would have been appreciated. He even has accepted ferrying me to the supermarket but uses shopping trips to add steps to his fitbit walking around the local area whilst I shop.
You will get thru this stay open with your family about where you are atm, ask for help when you need it and don't expect your family to read your mind. Generally kids assume we are invincible and is hard for them to realise we are not and the same can be said for.husbands.
I have learnt over the years when times are tough to narrow my focus and shut down emotion to get through things. It doesn't mean I don't have them just I tend to leave them until the worst is over.
Re my kids I told them.whatbwasnhappening from the start and made it clear they could ask whatever they needed to when they needed to about my health. I learnt they weren't worried as they have seen me get thru things before and they regard me as strong/tough which I was surprised by but explains why I need to yell to get a hearing at times as they take a lot for granted and I have hung myself by being too much of a superwoman. I am working to dispel the myth as getting older - am 64 and yes I had menopause twins at 47 but that's another story.
I find teenage boys somewhat self centred and think mine have been cossetted a bit too much but they can and are learning but not without a bit of aggro in the house. Mine need to be asked to pitch in effort but will eventually. They have casual jobs and food clothes and entertainment is now largely their costs as is petrol for their cars - the food is largely as they are difficult to feed and prefer junk food like Maccas.
Think sister may have organised her kids a bit better than mine as my husband and I role reversed for 12 years ie I worked and he was Mr Mum who was much.more.lenient around the house than I would have been.
We are 20months post.my diagnosis and things are pretty much unchanged in our family life and the boys are doing well at school as well as entering social life independently. I have had other medical this year major eye surgery but they knew what was going on and were invited to ask anytime what they wanted to know. As a general rule they haven't asked for the reasons above but they know they can.
I also have a retired husband who has.been pretty supportive taking me to appointments and taking over washing cooking and cleaning when I couldn't - he is great at cleaning but cooking has been a bit basic but we haven't starved although a few vegetables would have been appreciated. He even has accepted ferrying me to the supermarket but uses shopping trips to add steps to his fitbit walking around the local area whilst I shop.
You will get thru this stay open with your family about where you are atm, ask for help when you need it and don't expect your family to read your mind. Generally kids assume we are invincible and is hard for them to realise we are not and the same can be said for.husbands.