Last Friday I felt a lump. After being knocked back by two busy surgeries I got into see a male Dr (by that time I didn’t care), he brought a nurse in and basically said, “this is not a cyst”. I got a referral to the country hospital and by the afternoon I was waiting with a friend for an ultrasound (my mother was on her way from Adelaide to stay with me and my husband freaking out as he couldn’t get to me before Sunday- yep we’re living apart due to work and I’m in the country with our youngest two children). It’s been a big year already and now this. Never perfect timing I guess. The ultrasound led to a mammogram and then a biopsy all in the one afternoon. I’m grateful they pulled strings to get it all done but now I’m so worried about tomorrow. I’m worried they pulled strings because it’s so bad! The GP is a 9:30 tomorrow. My husband got me into a specialist in Adelaide on Wednesday morning at 11. All happening so fast which is good but scary. A week ago I was ‘cancer free’. At the hospital they said it was 18mm and that ‘most’ lymph glands were fatty but they kept stopping to click on measurements in the lymph area. That is definitely wasn’t a cyst. Now everything feels like a symptom of something worse. My heart flutters and I wonder if it’s there too. My hand aches and i wonder if it’s there. I’m worrying my 12 and 13 yr old as I’m teary. We need to make a decision in the next two weeks whether we stay in the country or move back to Adelaide. We need to make decisions about our house. I now desperately want to move back to Adelaide. Im after reassurance that I know no one can give.

It's such an overwhelming time @DomThom You don't say where you are but I'm guessing it's somewhere in SA. It does feel like a whirlwind but once you have your diagnosis, you can slow things down a little if you need to. You say that you're seeing a doctor in Adelaide. Is that a surgeon? I can thoroughly recommend Jim Kollias if you're looking for one. For now, just try to take one step at a time, and breathe. Write down any questions you have for the doctor and take someone you trust with you to the appointment as it's always good to have another pair of ears - you probably won't take in much of what you're told. If finances are an issue, don't be afraid to let the doctor know that - you'd be surprised at how understanding many of them are.As for the kids, my best advice is to be honest with them. You are in shock. My kids were 11,12 and 15 when I was diagnosed. We told them what was going on and that I was upset and worried. We also told them that we would tell them what we knew, when we knew it. They have been understanding through all of it over the last 9 months.Let us know how you go. For me this site has been a sanity saver. You will find information and support as well as the odd laugh from people who get it.Oh...try "Night Howls" if you you're awake in the middle of the night, or anytime, really.

Hi @DomThom I really feel for you. For me this was the most stressful part in many ways. Like you I had all my tests at once, then had to wait a few days for the outcome. All I can advise is what worked (mostly) for me, which is to try to cross each bridge as you come to it. Should your lump turn out to be a cancer you can then turn to resources such as breast care nurses who can advise and help you find other resources. Once you know what you're dealing with, you'll then find out what treatment is required and be able to decide whether it will be necessary to be in the city to access that treatment. Even if it is a cancer, you may only need minimal treatment. Not everyone needs chemotherapy, for instance.I discovered a great podcast yesterday that you might find useful - The Thing About Cancer.https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/podcasts/But take the first step of receiving your test results first. And good luck! xxx

@DomThom so sorry you've found you're way here but you couldn't have found a better place to air your worries. I really hope everything is ok. What a rotten time it is for you. Ask any question you like, the ladies here are fantastic. This forum has certainly been everything to me. The best advice is don't rush ahead if you can help it. Take one step at a time and wait for your diagnosis. Definitely have someone with you. Once you've got that, jump on here and ask all the questions. All the best and take care xxxxx

Hi @wren71 Thinking of you and hoping your appointment provided you with the information you needed for the next part of your process. Little steps and deep breaths as you learn a new language and try and grapple with the outcome that is uniquely yours despite being part of this bc village. Big hugs to you.. xo

This forum has been similarly invaluable for me @wren71. I'm sorry the news was not good, but that's one ghastly thing over and done with. It's good you're seeing your BS this week, he/she will have a plan for you and you'll go into the weekend with a bit more certainty. You'll be able to convey that to the kids.Have you got a breast care nurse yet? And the My Journey kit? Both can be amazing. Lots of advice on how to handle the kids.My advice would be open and honest with them. Kids fill in gaps if they're left blank, and sometimes erroneously. I have four (with particular circumstances) and found that two were good with whatever I told them, but the other two needed more detail for reassurance. Sometimes I disappeared into my own head and forgot to communicate which led to consternation, worry and misunderstanding.So, more breathing! Have you tried 4-7-8? It's very good for calming the nervous system. You breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and then breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds. Do that five times. I find that very helpful, including when I'm trying to get to sleep.Big hug, K xox

One more sleep until the diagnosis

32 Replies

arpie
Member
8 years ago
That’s a bugger, but as you say, as expected. Even DEEPER breaths now ... hopefully it will be deemed small enough for minimal surgery and not found in the nodes ..... your surgeon will take you thru the next steps and time frame.

All the best for your meeting .... definitely take a buddy along as an extra set of ears, and for moral support, too

take care xx
wren71
Member
8 years ago
I’ve really appreciated everyone’s support here. Every time someone writes breathe I literally start breathe better. It was a yes to malignancy and I have an appt with a surgeon tomorrow. It’s what I expected given everyone’s reaction last Friday. At least tomorrow I’ll know a bit more. :-(
steplightly
Member
8 years ago
Hi @wren71 Thinking of you and hoping your appointment provided you with the information you needed for the next part of your process. Little steps and deep breaths as you learn a new language and try and grapple with the outcome that is uniquely yours despite being part of this bc village. Big hugs to you.. xo
Giovanna_BCNA
Member
8 years ago
Hello @wren71, @Sister
Your username has been changed to wren71 regards Giovanna
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
Yes, there is a free introductory version.

Good idea re Dr Google. Best to stay away. Anything Macmillian (the UK version of BCNA) is fine but I'm very wary of the rest. High caution required! K xox
Sister
Member
8 years ago
@Giovanna_BCNA Is @DomThom able to change her username? Or should she re-register?
wren71
Member
8 years ago
Thank you everyone. @kmakm I looked up headspace. It looks good but is there a free version? I keep finding ‘packages’. A friend got me into the app ‘insight’ which has been good. Thank you @Giovanna_BCNA I’ll keep the number in mind. I’ve only let myself go to this website. It has everything and is positive. Before I found it general google was doing my head in.
I’d really like to change my username to @wren71 but can seem to manage it. I didn’t think before joining that my current username is quite identifiable and I love the idea of anonymity when expressing my feelings.
wren71
Member
8 years ago
Thank you @arpie I hadn’t considered recording. Will def have someone with me from now on :)
arpie
Member
8 years ago
So sorry to see you here, and we know how it feels. :( Take lots of deep breaths - once you have the diagnosis, you will have a clearer idea of what happens next .... so, hopefully it IS just cysts!

@Sister has covered lots of bits - definitely haver someone with you in all your meetings ... you could even record the meeting on your phone (any of them from now on ....) It can be tricky trying to remember what was said.

All the best for your meetings tomorrow - we'll be thinking of you xxx
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
I got into meditation out of sheer desperation when I was diagnosed DomThom. I have a noisy brain and so I don't find it easy at all. I've let it go over the last three months but my anxiety has really been getting the better of me lately, so I've resolved to get back into it. Started again today! I use Headspace and have found it to be excellent. I don't completely understand how it does it, but it does seem to help. K xox

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One more sleep until the diagnosis

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