Last Friday I felt a lump. After being knocked back by two busy surgeries I got into see a male Dr (by that time I didn’t care), he brought a nurse in and basically said, “this is not a cyst”. I got a referral to the country hospital and by the afternoon I was waiting with a friend for an ultrasound (my mother was on her way from Adelaide to stay with me and my husband freaking out as he couldn’t get to me before Sunday- yep we’re living apart due to work and I’m in the country with our youngest two children). It’s been a big year already and now this. Never perfect timing I guess. The ultrasound led to a mammogram and then a biopsy all in the one afternoon. I’m grateful they pulled strings to get it all done but now I’m so worried about tomorrow. I’m worried they pulled strings because it’s so bad! The GP is a 9:30 tomorrow. My husband got me into a specialist in Adelaide on Wednesday morning at 11. All happening so fast which is good but scary. A week ago I was ‘cancer free’. At the hospital they said it was 18mm and that ‘most’ lymph glands were fatty but they kept stopping to click on measurements in the lymph area. That is definitely wasn’t a cyst. Now everything feels like a symptom of something worse. My heart flutters and I wonder if it’s there too. My hand aches and i wonder if it’s there. I’m worrying my 12 and 13 yr old as I’m teary. We need to make a decision in the next two weeks whether we stay in the country or move back to Adelaide. We need to make decisions about our house. I now desperately want to move back to Adelaide. Im after reassurance that I know no one can give.

It's such an overwhelming time @DomThom You don't say where you are but I'm guessing it's somewhere in SA. It does feel like a whirlwind but once you have your diagnosis, you can slow things down a little if you need to. You say that you're seeing a doctor in Adelaide. Is that a surgeon? I can thoroughly recommend Jim Kollias if you're looking for one. For now, just try to take one step at a time, and breathe. Write down any questions you have for the doctor and take someone you trust with you to the appointment as it's always good to have another pair of ears - you probably won't take in much of what you're told. If finances are an issue, don't be afraid to let the doctor know that - you'd be surprised at how understanding many of them are.As for the kids, my best advice is to be honest with them. You are in shock. My kids were 11,12 and 15 when I was diagnosed. We told them what was going on and that I was upset and worried. We also told them that we would tell them what we knew, when we knew it. They have been understanding through all of it over the last 9 months.Let us know how you go. For me this site has been a sanity saver. You will find information and support as well as the odd laugh from people who get it.Oh...try "Night Howls" if you you're awake in the middle of the night, or anytime, really.

Hi @DomThom I really feel for you. For me this was the most stressful part in many ways. Like you I had all my tests at once, then had to wait a few days for the outcome. All I can advise is what worked (mostly) for me, which is to try to cross each bridge as you come to it. Should your lump turn out to be a cancer you can then turn to resources such as breast care nurses who can advise and help you find other resources. Once you know what you're dealing with, you'll then find out what treatment is required and be able to decide whether it will be necessary to be in the city to access that treatment. Even if it is a cancer, you may only need minimal treatment. Not everyone needs chemotherapy, for instance.I discovered a great podcast yesterday that you might find useful - The Thing About Cancer.https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/podcasts/But take the first step of receiving your test results first. And good luck! xxx

@DomThom so sorry you've found you're way here but you couldn't have found a better place to air your worries. I really hope everything is ok. What a rotten time it is for you. Ask any question you like, the ladies here are fantastic. This forum has certainly been everything to me. The best advice is don't rush ahead if you can help it. Take one step at a time and wait for your diagnosis. Definitely have someone with you. Once you've got that, jump on here and ask all the questions. All the best and take care xxxxx

Hi @wren71 Thinking of you and hoping your appointment provided you with the information you needed for the next part of your process. Little steps and deep breaths as you learn a new language and try and grapple with the outcome that is uniquely yours despite being part of this bc village. Big hugs to you.. xo

This forum has been similarly invaluable for me @wren71. I'm sorry the news was not good, but that's one ghastly thing over and done with. It's good you're seeing your BS this week, he/she will have a plan for you and you'll go into the weekend with a bit more certainty. You'll be able to convey that to the kids.Have you got a breast care nurse yet? And the My Journey kit? Both can be amazing. Lots of advice on how to handle the kids.My advice would be open and honest with them. Kids fill in gaps if they're left blank, and sometimes erroneously. I have four (with particular circumstances) and found that two were good with whatever I told them, but the other two needed more detail for reassurance. Sometimes I disappeared into my own head and forgot to communicate which led to consternation, worry and misunderstanding.So, more breathing! Have you tried 4-7-8? It's very good for calming the nervous system. You breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and then breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds. Do that five times. I find that very helpful, including when I'm trying to get to sleep.Big hug, K xox

One more sleep until the diagnosis

32 Replies

wren71
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7 years ago
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Thanks @sister :-)
Sister
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7 years ago
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That's good that he doesn't want you to wait longer than necessary - my surgeon did the same for me and it's better to know as soon as possible. But if for some reason he doesn't ring, don't spend the weekend stressing out - give his rooms a call before they close. I'm glad the surgery went well. It is under the arm that usually hurts most as the nerves try to work out what's happened.
Scorpio101
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7 years ago
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That all embracing rush at the beginning when everything passes in a blur, with overload of information. Was 4 months for me before I finally stopped and had a chance to think....what the hell has just happened!? I wrote on here my story and I have had amazing support and advice from the ladies, why ? because we have all had the experiences, confusion and fright you are going through. I hope you find your way, don't forget the write things down, talk with social workers or like minded people who can talk with your family...especially husband and children. My husband was a mess !!! I wish you well, a stress free journey, and send moral support, love and hugs to remind you will find that this is an awesome place to talk and vent. I know I did. <3
arpie
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7 years ago
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Thank you!! It is terrific that the surgeon was so happy with his handiwork too! ;)

You could always put your phone on loud speaker & use another one to record it (if you can pinch someone else's?) That way you can still chat with him on loud speaker as well. (I am not sure if you can record your own conversation without using a recording device, or possibly connected to a computer via the usb?!) Some tech boffin may be able to help you there!

Great that you have the pillow as support - you may be using it for many weeks to come! ;) It is a good little security blanket to have! I had to buy my own & use it at night now as my 'reading cushion' - I think it is a tad bigger than the 'proper ones'! LOL (oblong shape)

Take care & all the best for Fri - not too long to wait now! xx
wren71
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7 years ago
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He’s going to call on Friday. So I’ll need to write it down. Doesn’t want me to have to wait until next Wednesday when I see him.
Thy gave me a little pillow that looks like a neck pillow, especially made for post op breast cancer. I’m carrying it around like a security blanket x
You give such useful and thoughtful advice. Thank you 😊
arpie
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7 years ago
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Good to have that under your belt!

All the best wth your pathology results on Fri, @wren71 Maybe take someone with you as an extra set of ears, or even record it? I did! You can never remember everything they tell you!

Have you got a small pillow to help support that arm, so it doesn't aggravate the cut further? The pillow may help. My under arm hurt for ages (about a month) and my nodes were removed from the incision around the nipple!

Rest up, sleep lots, take care xx
wren71
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7 years ago
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Sorry I haven’t replied. I had surgery with Dr Birrell on Monday at Burnside.
I’m home now. He said the surgery went like clock work. I’ll get the pathology results on Friday and see him again next week.
i feel very lucky. I’m sore under my arm from that incision but am not having much discomfort with my breast incision (under it)
Sister
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7 years ago
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While it's still not fun, you will probably find that things will settle down when you have a plan of action. That plan might change but it's still a way forward out of the fog. Expect that you may be sent for more tests. Surgeons tend to like to know everything before they start. Which surgeon are you going to?
kmakm
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7 years ago
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This forum has been similarly invaluable for me @wren71. I'm sorry the news was not good, but that's one ghastly thing over and done with. It's good you're seeing your BS this week, he/she will have a plan for you and you'll go into the weekend with a bit more certainty. You'll be able to convey that to the kids.

Have you got a breast care nurse yet? And the My Journey kit? Both can be amazing. Lots of advice on how to handle the kids.

My advice would be open and honest with them. Kids fill in gaps if they're left blank, and sometimes erroneously. I have four (with particular circumstances) and found that two were good with whatever I told them, but the other two needed more detail for reassurance. Sometimes I disappeared into my own head and forgot to communicate which led to consternation, worry and misunderstanding.

So, more breathing! Have you tried 4-7-8? It's very good for calming the nervous system. You breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and then breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds. Do that five times. I find that very helpful, including when I'm trying to get to sleep.

Big hug, K xox
Fletch
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7 years ago
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Best wishes,@wren71,it really is like learning anew language as@steplightly said , a language we have not learnt by choice but the more you understand the more you will feel some control. Like everything ....do it all in your own time.
I too have found this forum a truely safe haven.
Go well. Xxx