Newly Diagnosed and Anxious
Hi I am 51 and was diagnosed in late April and had a Lumpectomy and SLNB on 13th May after finding a lump in late March. I was shocked to find out about 5 days after the surgery that I had a 2.2cm IDC, with nodal involvement (4 of 5 at this stage) and that it was Aggressive - Grade 3 (so Stage IIIa and Grade 3). However, one of the margins was not clear (the DCIS part) and so I need a re-excision and have opted for a complete ALND (as there is some indication more nodes are involved), I am also having the Port for Chemo inserted then as well.
My next surgery however, is not until the 21st June, which I feel is too long away given the aggressive grade, although this is the earliest date my Surgeon could do (even as a private patient - as my surgeon does both, the time would only have been 2-3 days difference). At this stage my other Scans seem ok, but I am now feeling very very anxious that waiting another 3 weeks for surgery and then another 4 or so weeks before Chemo means that it could be progressing given the grade. I know that the system can only go as fast as it can cope with, but this doesn't help my anxiety and fear and it just feels like the aggressive grade of the cancer is being ignored. I am an anxious person without this situation, so the waiting and the mind/brain drifting is even worse now. I was not doing too badly until I found out the Grade 3 nature, this really freaks me out and I get these feelings that the cancer is just running through my body and I just want to get started on the Chemo etc.
I do try and keep busy and I exercise, and aim to be as positive as I can be, but just yesterday I felt like it all got too much and I could not function that well and it all felt like it was falling apart and I cried almost all day (even when watching the new Top Gun movie!)
I have been vigilant about having Mammograms and Ultrasounds since my 30s, as I have dense breast tissue, and my GM had BC, so this diagnosis (only a year after a mammogram was clear- no US last time as it was the welcome to 50 screen and all previous US over many years had been clear and only ever show some small cysts that come and go, which is what I thought this would be) has really felt like a big kick in the guts. I have good family and friends, but I feel like a burden on them. My sister recommended BCNA to me so am hoping that this may help.
My next surgery however, is not until the 21st June, which I feel is too long away given the aggressive grade, although this is the earliest date my Surgeon could do (even as a private patient - as my surgeon does both, the time would only have been 2-3 days difference). At this stage my other Scans seem ok, but I am now feeling very very anxious that waiting another 3 weeks for surgery and then another 4 or so weeks before Chemo means that it could be progressing given the grade. I know that the system can only go as fast as it can cope with, but this doesn't help my anxiety and fear and it just feels like the aggressive grade of the cancer is being ignored. I am an anxious person without this situation, so the waiting and the mind/brain drifting is even worse now. I was not doing too badly until I found out the Grade 3 nature, this really freaks me out and I get these feelings that the cancer is just running through my body and I just want to get started on the Chemo etc.
I do try and keep busy and I exercise, and aim to be as positive as I can be, but just yesterday I felt like it all got too much and I could not function that well and it all felt like it was falling apart and I cried almost all day (even when watching the new Top Gun movie!)
I have been vigilant about having Mammograms and Ultrasounds since my 30s, as I have dense breast tissue, and my GM had BC, so this diagnosis (only a year after a mammogram was clear- no US last time as it was the welcome to 50 screen and all previous US over many years had been clear and only ever show some small cysts that come and go, which is what I thought this would be) has really felt like a big kick in the guts. I have good family and friends, but I feel like a burden on them. My sister recommended BCNA to me so am hoping that this may help.
