New To BCNA
Hello Everyone,
My name is Gavin and my wife (Karen) was recently advised
she had BC (March 9th), I’ve been a rock for her and our two kids at
home (we’re in our 50’s) and have advised my girls li...
Forum Discussion
Hi @GavinCh,
Welcome and good on you for finding this place. Already some fantastic advice as usual. This forum is a godsend and for me has provided more insight and information than most of the doctors. They've got the technical stuff under control but some are quite lacking (there are exceptions) about the emotional side of things and how it actually feels to have been told you have cancer.
The start of this thing just plain out sux. Waiting, waiting, waiting for a game plan. Ugh!
You know your wife better than anyone so you're probably in tune with how she's going to feel about support groups etc. Some people find them very helpful and some do better on their own. This forum is support group enough for some of us.
Personally, I wanted as much normality as possible. Kept myself as distracted and busy as I could. There were hide in the bedroom days and nobody could help with them.
I opted not to take anyone to appointments with me, except the breast care nurse, that way I didn't have to deal with anyone else's emotions but my own. I took my mother to the first surgical appointment and she broke down crying so that was that.
My husband came with me to my first chemo treatment and looked upset and sorry for me so I sent him home.
I found this much easier, that way I could come home from appointments and explain as much or as little as I wanted to. Kind of gave me a bit of control of the situation.
The best thing to do right now is just look after the kids and the house so she can deal with her own headspace and be the shoulder to cry on when she needs to. Probably a lot :)
It all just depends on the person. Once there is a plan things will move along and she'll feel a bit more in control of the situation. Then she can let you know what she wants.
All the best to both of you.
xoxoxoxo
Welcome and good on you for finding this place. Already some fantastic advice as usual. This forum is a godsend and for me has provided more insight and information than most of the doctors. They've got the technical stuff under control but some are quite lacking (there are exceptions) about the emotional side of things and how it actually feels to have been told you have cancer.
The start of this thing just plain out sux. Waiting, waiting, waiting for a game plan. Ugh!
You know your wife better than anyone so you're probably in tune with how she's going to feel about support groups etc. Some people find them very helpful and some do better on their own. This forum is support group enough for some of us.
Personally, I wanted as much normality as possible. Kept myself as distracted and busy as I could. There were hide in the bedroom days and nobody could help with them.
I opted not to take anyone to appointments with me, except the breast care nurse, that way I didn't have to deal with anyone else's emotions but my own. I took my mother to the first surgical appointment and she broke down crying so that was that.
My husband came with me to my first chemo treatment and looked upset and sorry for me so I sent him home.
I found this much easier, that way I could come home from appointments and explain as much or as little as I wanted to. Kind of gave me a bit of control of the situation.
The best thing to do right now is just look after the kids and the house so she can deal with her own headspace and be the shoulder to cry on when she needs to. Probably a lot :)
It all just depends on the person. Once there is a plan things will move along and she'll feel a bit more in control of the situation. Then she can let you know what she wants.
All the best to both of you.
xoxoxoxo