New balancing act
Hello I have two kids girl aged 9 and boy aged 5. I was diagnosed 2nd December and will start Chemo on the 3rd Jan. I’m just trying to work out how to balance family, chemo and work. It is hard bec...
Forum Discussion
Dear@Canberramum
While everyone means well and obviously you have a loving and supportive group of family and friends, something like this can really seperate the support team (those who will do anything you want) from the rest (those who know best!!). If there was ever a time to be ‘selfish’ and do things the way you want them to be, a bc diagnosis is it.
That said, most people have no way of knowing how they will react to chemo before they start. So bridge burning is maybe a bit premature. I worked full time throughout chemo (no small children to care for though). I had no nausea and no fatigue, the most common side effects. Others get severe side effects and most fall somewhere in between, with some bad days and some good. So having more than one plan may be useful. You and your partner need to talk about how to manage the first few weeks, when a pattern for how you feel will develop. Same for work.
I agree that having house guests at this time can be an added burden. I wanted time to get my own pattern established when I had a child too (before even much loved parents descended on the scene!) but depending on circumstances, some additional help, at least for a while, may be very useful.
For your first chemo session, take an unflappable friend. I solo-ed all my sessions bar the first, happier on my own but first time round it’s useful to have someone with you, who will take you home, bring you a drink, chat, whatever you need. Some people read through treatment, listen to music, lots bring family and supporters, others prefer to have quiet time alone. Once you know how you react, you can adapt. Some take lots of snacks, drinks etc, but I found I was quite happy with a book (I usually am!) and doing emails. Tea or coffee, and a sandwich, was provided.
It’s a lot to face at first, but you’ll get there. Others in the network with young children can advise too, I am sure. Best wishes.
While everyone means well and obviously you have a loving and supportive group of family and friends, something like this can really seperate the support team (those who will do anything you want) from the rest (those who know best!!). If there was ever a time to be ‘selfish’ and do things the way you want them to be, a bc diagnosis is it.
That said, most people have no way of knowing how they will react to chemo before they start. So bridge burning is maybe a bit premature. I worked full time throughout chemo (no small children to care for though). I had no nausea and no fatigue, the most common side effects. Others get severe side effects and most fall somewhere in between, with some bad days and some good. So having more than one plan may be useful. You and your partner need to talk about how to manage the first few weeks, when a pattern for how you feel will develop. Same for work.
I agree that having house guests at this time can be an added burden. I wanted time to get my own pattern established when I had a child too (before even much loved parents descended on the scene!) but depending on circumstances, some additional help, at least for a while, may be very useful.
For your first chemo session, take an unflappable friend. I solo-ed all my sessions bar the first, happier on my own but first time round it’s useful to have someone with you, who will take you home, bring you a drink, chat, whatever you need. Some people read through treatment, listen to music, lots bring family and supporters, others prefer to have quiet time alone. Once you know how you react, you can adapt. Some take lots of snacks, drinks etc, but I found I was quite happy with a book (I usually am!) and doing emails. Tea or coffee, and a sandwich, was provided.
It’s a lot to face at first, but you’ll get there. Others in the network with young children can advise too, I am sure. Best wishes.