@arpie @Sister @Julez1958 @Cath62 Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. Some great suggestions and reassurance which I really need. I especially like the advice about the small pillow and letting myself cry if I need to, and also @FLClover suggestion about dancing and singing to music. I'm an 80s music tragic and this is working well for me. Turning up the music and distracting myself has been great. I'm tentatively booked in for both breasts in 3 weeks. I thought it would be sooner since it has already been a month since diagnosis but I've been assured the cancer won't spread fast. I have to trust the professionals I think, and try to keep calm. I'm not great at meditation but it is also a good suggestion and I am trying to do it every day. Thank you all once again.