Nearly 12 months on I feel an apology is in order to my sisters on this site...so it did get better

Sam, what a heartfelt and honest post. Yes, it brought tears to my eyes as well.  We just don't know how we will react to a cancer diagnosis, it is such a personal thing.  As we travel along we go from disbelief, to anger, challenging ourselves and others and finally to a gradual acceptance and healing. The beautiful thing about that is we are then strong enough to help others just starting out. Sending you a huge hug Sam and wishing you peaceful and happy days.  Jane xx