Thanks for all your lovely and wise comments, and your warm welcome to the club no one wants to join.
I had a better day today at work, felt like I was making a difference in other peoples lives with out being constantly reminded of my own insecurities.
@Loobylou fingers crossed for your scan result and hugs for the horrible wait.
I've not had any scans yet, first appointment with the surgeon tomorrow. but I've had an ache in my shoulder which I'm sure is muscular but now plays on my mind.... and my exercise tolerance is pretty poor at the moment, getting puffed out with things I think I shouldn't, so I'm not panicking but it's just enough to make the wait just that bit more uncomfortable.