Forum Discussion
My Valentines Day Cancer
So My Story so far...
Couple of weeks ago I decided to make an appointment with a new GP to get my Mirena out.
Later that day I happened to put my hand on my chest and noticed a lump. I decided to wait for that appointment and mention it then.
Over the next 2 weeks I occasionally felt it to see if it was still there and did notice I could see a subtile change in contour of the breast but managed to not let it worry me. To be honest I thought it was just hyper vigilance due to my strong family history and just a case of "Medical student disease". I'm a GP. In medical school we are told that at some point in time we will all succumb to Med student disease and we should all have our own GP to deal with it. It describes when a med student (or doctor) reading about some rare condition worries that they have in fact got it themselves.
On Wednesday I attended my appointment. We discussed my Mirena and the reasons I wanted it out, and my GP brought up very valid reasons for keeping it, and we decided to wait to take it out. I mentioned I also wanted my Breast checked, and she wanted my overdue cervical screening done, We started "top to bottom".
She said we should fully investigate the lump, mamo, US FNA, I agreed.
She organised imaging the next morning
then as I went to leave she said "the Mirena is the least of you worries"
My heart sank and I could not get those words out of my head
Next morning my first Mammogram (I'm 44) not as bad as I thought
Then the US, I asked the sonographer how it looked, she said the Radiologist would come and speak to me, and they had a med student with them was that ok, of course.
The Radiologist said it looked suspicious, I looked at the screen, A hypoechogenic spiculated lesion, when it's obvious there is very little doubt.
She said she would rather do cores than FNA then started to consent me. As she described the local I said I was a GP, I've put in local hundreds of times. She said yes but she would treat me the same as everyone else, which was just what I needed, I'm the patient now and she was great. As I lay there as she took the biopsies I thought about the med student, that had been me not so long ago, the fly on the wall as people get bad news. The Radiologist said the Path would be back the next day and that I needed early referral to a surgeon and she would phone and let my GP know.
As I left everyone said good luck, I hated that...it meant I needed it!
I walked to my car with tears in my eyes.
Then I phoned the clinic, my GP was not in for the rest of the week,
then I phone a previous practice I worked at, spoke to the manager, she got me in with one of my colleges that day and he referred me,made the call and I have an appointment Wednesday with the surgeon
I phoned my practice manager and told her I would not be in on Friday, my head was not in a good place to be seeing patients.
Friday I phoned the lab, the results had been reported so I asked them to download them to my work, to a colleague.
I made an appointment with a different doctor at my new clinic. As I walked into his office he said my doc had spoken to him, I told him I was expecting bad news.
he handed me my path form and said, thats what you have
invasive ductal carcinoma grade 2. receptors pending.
He was amazing. I said I wanted the mirena out in case its progesterone positive. He said he hadn't taken one out in about 10 years but how hard could it be, I laughed. He did it so that I would feel more comfortable, despite the fact that waiting a few more days really would not have made any difference, and I appreciated it.
I told him how I was worried about telling my partner, his wife died of Metastatic melanoma in her 30's. Although my prognosis is way better than hers ever was, this waiting has got to bring up issues for him, and I feel so guilty about that. My Doc offered to phone him that night to let him know I will be ok. He will also phone me after I see the surgeon.
The weekend has been hard, I've just been so tired, I have had no motivation to do anything.
Today back at work.
results check, estrogen and progesterone positive, Her negative
4th patient of the day was new to the practice, she had a breast lump.
I was able to focus on her and her needs, took her history, examined her and organised imaging. I got through it in a professional and I hope caring way, but it takes a toll.
Patient in the afternoon came in for review, rescheduled from the Friday I didn't come in. Her eye had settled with the antibiotics I had prescribed, but she was still getting headaches that another doctor had put down to tension (probably correctly). But they are not like her normal migraines and she was concerned. past history of breast cancer, I decided to MRI brain to be safe, acknowledging that this may bring up anxiety for her.
It's been a rough day... guess I here for support
Couple of weeks ago I decided to make an appointment with a new GP to get my Mirena out.
Later that day I happened to put my hand on my chest and noticed a lump. I decided to wait for that appointment and mention it then.
Over the next 2 weeks I occasionally felt it to see if it was still there and did notice I could see a subtile change in contour of the breast but managed to not let it worry me. To be honest I thought it was just hyper vigilance due to my strong family history and just a case of "Medical student disease". I'm a GP. In medical school we are told that at some point in time we will all succumb to Med student disease and we should all have our own GP to deal with it. It describes when a med student (or doctor) reading about some rare condition worries that they have in fact got it themselves.
On Wednesday I attended my appointment. We discussed my Mirena and the reasons I wanted it out, and my GP brought up very valid reasons for keeping it, and we decided to wait to take it out. I mentioned I also wanted my Breast checked, and she wanted my overdue cervical screening done, We started "top to bottom".
She said we should fully investigate the lump, mamo, US FNA, I agreed.
She organised imaging the next morning
then as I went to leave she said "the Mirena is the least of you worries"
My heart sank and I could not get those words out of my head
Next morning my first Mammogram (I'm 44) not as bad as I thought
Then the US, I asked the sonographer how it looked, she said the Radiologist would come and speak to me, and they had a med student with them was that ok, of course.
The Radiologist said it looked suspicious, I looked at the screen, A hypoechogenic spiculated lesion, when it's obvious there is very little doubt.
She said she would rather do cores than FNA then started to consent me. As she described the local I said I was a GP, I've put in local hundreds of times. She said yes but she would treat me the same as everyone else, which was just what I needed, I'm the patient now and she was great. As I lay there as she took the biopsies I thought about the med student, that had been me not so long ago, the fly on the wall as people get bad news. The Radiologist said the Path would be back the next day and that I needed early referral to a surgeon and she would phone and let my GP know.
As I left everyone said good luck, I hated that...it meant I needed it!
I walked to my car with tears in my eyes.
Then I phoned the clinic, my GP was not in for the rest of the week,
then I phone a previous practice I worked at, spoke to the manager, she got me in with one of my colleges that day and he referred me,made the call and I have an appointment Wednesday with the surgeon
I phoned my practice manager and told her I would not be in on Friday, my head was not in a good place to be seeing patients.
Friday I phoned the lab, the results had been reported so I asked them to download them to my work, to a colleague.
I made an appointment with a different doctor at my new clinic. As I walked into his office he said my doc had spoken to him, I told him I was expecting bad news.
he handed me my path form and said, thats what you have
invasive ductal carcinoma grade 2. receptors pending.
He was amazing. I said I wanted the mirena out in case its progesterone positive. He said he hadn't taken one out in about 10 years but how hard could it be, I laughed. He did it so that I would feel more comfortable, despite the fact that waiting a few more days really would not have made any difference, and I appreciated it.
I told him how I was worried about telling my partner, his wife died of Metastatic melanoma in her 30's. Although my prognosis is way better than hers ever was, this waiting has got to bring up issues for him, and I feel so guilty about that. My Doc offered to phone him that night to let him know I will be ok. He will also phone me after I see the surgeon.
The weekend has been hard, I've just been so tired, I have had no motivation to do anything.
Today back at work.
results check, estrogen and progesterone positive, Her negative
4th patient of the day was new to the practice, she had a breast lump.
I was able to focus on her and her needs, took her history, examined her and organised imaging. I got through it in a professional and I hope caring way, but it takes a toll.
Patient in the afternoon came in for review, rescheduled from the Friday I didn't come in. Her eye had settled with the antibiotics I had prescribed, but she was still getting headaches that another doctor had put down to tension (probably correctly). But they are not like her normal migraines and she was concerned. past history of breast cancer, I decided to MRI brain to be safe, acknowledging that this may bring up anxiety for her.
It's been a rough day... guess I here for support
47 Replies
- It is under Reclaimyourcurves.org.au and then hospital, what to pack.
- @SoldierCrab No idea what happened to that list but this is what I remember:
book
laptop
front opening pjs
mineral water/soft drink for when you're sick of cordial
nice tea bags
dressing gown (or similar) and slip on shoes so you can walk outside if there's a garden and they'll let you - beats walking up and down the corridors
face wipes - because it always feels as if your face is greasy in hospital
a front buttoning shirt to wear home
a wrap or pashmina to put over your shoulders when the aircon is too cold
I know some have recommended earplugs to sleep with the hospital noises. - I hated the Berlei bra - it resembles an old-fashioned foundation garment. And I didn't stick long with the front-opening bra, either as it never stayed put, properly. I went for the cheap Kmart Ah Bra ripoffs until things healed a bit and then got some nice ones fitted with a proper prosthesis. As for those, I was given a soft pad at the hospital and then later used knitted knockers until I got the silicon one. You can get chicken fillet types to even up after a lumpectomy. But honestly, it was better to go without whenever possible and let the site heal.
- Hi @Sazbe. Things are moving along for you. Sooner the better I say . If you're stuck on a Candy Crush level it doesn't seem a waste of time while you're hanging around for scans etc. Backgammon is my saviour on the mobile. Lumps are strange things I was told I had 2, had 2 hookwires on day of surgery to find there was only one lump shaped like a Dumbbell grade 3 so had chemo. 2 weeks after surgery went back to work hairdressing until chemo started I bought loads of wireless bras but none of them fitted as I have a bigger cup than you and none were that big so I squashed into the biggest I could find. At home I never wore one. My lump was at 12 o'clock and my scar about 9 o' clock. Yes I have a dented, smaller perkier fun bag. Now that I'm back to underwire bras again it's barely noticeable. My surgeon keeps offering to make the other one the same, and I said I need one unadulterated funbag for my Bad Boy. He's never had a problem with the other one either and I'm blessed to have him make me feel totally comfortable about it. Too be honest I don't care what it looks like because others have it far worse so who am I to grumble. All I wanted was the lump removed and do what you have to do. When I went for radiation I went braless So much easier. Leggings and a volumous over shirt . At the end of rads I used to cover the broken skin with a pad if I had to wear the wireless bra. When I had a gig (in a band) I used to wear my performing bra. Very pretty and sexy, well padded on the sore bit and endure it for the night. It's something that clears up with time I went to my lovely bra shop De'bra's and found a good underwire bra that fitted a little looser than normal and it was a godsend. The lady brought me a chicken fillet. It was bigger than what I needed as it's all they had but it was so heavy and felt eeeew I said I'd rather have a baggy bit of bra where my dent is, and there's nothing to see when dressed.. You might not have that bad a dent hopefully and might rethink having the other side done Review it all when it's done and you're over the initial shock. Being able to work was the best medicine for me. So worked through chemo and rads. It certainly takes your mind off of it all. There will be hundreds more questions you'll want answered and there's lots of answers here. Best of luck with it all.
- I distracted myself with a lot of stupid sitcoms on Netflix and Stan. We got Stan when I was diagnosed as I knew I'd need distraction and I enjoy watching tv.
Some surround themselves with friends to make them laugh, go out or stay home. I got busy with organising the things I could control, like the housework, walking the dog, making allied health appointments. It was a peculiar state of suspended animation which didn't go on for too long as it all happened very quickly. Do your hobby, get some exercise, meditate, whatever floats your boat.
Obviously you'll be sore afterwards. You do a lot of boob clutching! I found bending over to load and unload the dishwasher to be particularly challenging, as was washing myself, especially my hair. I had to get my husband to help me the first couple of times. Bumpy roads are challenging. I was a bit sorer as usual as my tumour was deep and my BS had to dig around in my chest wall to get it out.
But in between my SNB & wide local excision and re-excision for margins a week later, I organised, prepared and threw my son's 18th birthday party, so the incapacitation doesn't go on for too long.
If you're on your own at home make sure your tea/coffee etc is somewhere easy to reach, not to low or high.
How you react to a general anaesthetic will also determine how you feel.
My lopsidedness was minimal, only noticeable when I was naked.
If you go scarves, can I suggest op shops for vintage ones?! It's good fun and not so nanna! There's also this lady who's a deadset legend:
https://www.braveryco.com.au/?categoryId=a65005de-9a92-83ef-488a-63cb713e5c8c
Those bras are hideous. I refused to wear my Berlei beige one for weeks but in the end I gave in. They are very very comfortable.
Hang in there @Sazbe. K xox - Sorry I can't advise on the lop sided aspect, as I had a bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction. My hospital "have to haves" was this. Open up the front pyjamas or nighties as getting arm/s up to put on and remove is a tad difficult. Slippers that have non slip soles and are easy to slip on and off. Bending over to use finger to lift the back on a closed slipper is a mission. Bendy straws so you can sip fluids without having to sit up. Bickford's Lime Cordial, as the bottled water given out tasted bleeghhh to me at room temperature. Some sucky lollies such as Werther's or mints. My kindle...easier for holding one handed reading in bed lying on the side. Money in smaller denominations for buying goodies from the pink ladies as they only take cash, and have limited change. Ear plugs or noise cancelling earphones to block off bed buzzers, other patients calling out, staff yakking in the corridor at 2am. Staff and visitors wearing clack clack or squeak squeak shoes up and down outside your room....you get the picture. Eye mask like on airplanes to block out night lights on the wall and even the glow in the dark blipping and numbers on monitors. I'm sure others will add more of their personal favourites. Good luck.
- @Sazbe these lovely ladies have said it all, so I’m sending hugs & best wishes xo
- It's a lot to take in at once! Practical responses - I was a similar breast size and had a mastectomy. Always wore a bra with underwire and did so, because it was perfectly comfortable and no one told me not to, for 12 months afterwards. I was really dubious about support without an underwire but a trained fitter when I finally got a prosthesis, showed me otherwise. No, the colour options weren't great but it looks and feels good. I wore a pad until I got a prosthesis - depending on your circumstances, it would be worth investigating a partial prosthesis as pads, which are very light, are a pain - move around much too easily, you may be initially hyper sensitive about your altered boob and readjustment syndrome (constant tweaking) you can live without. I did swim with a pad, just tucked it in my swimsuit but I wasn't wearing anything too revealing. I did chemo, wore a wig and most people outside my immediate work team, didn't know anything. You'll be amazed at your additional
imventiveness, hang on to your sense of humour, it can get you through some crazy times. Best wishes. - hi Sazbe,
You could also do a look good feel better workshop
Lgfb.org.au
Youtube shows great videos for scarves.
for my sentinel node I took in my Ipod
@Sister
has a great list of what to pack for hospital
Swimming pool is it your own pool ?
Have you accessed a BREAST CARE Nurse yet ? - This site will be of most benefit to you...………
https://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/information-sheets.html
