My mum is just not coping with my diagnosis

Hi Nadi - I can relate to your dilemma.

When I was diagnosed at Breastscreen Victoria the Counsellor had explained to both my husband and I about dealing with the diagnosis and the positive and negative people and how to calm yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed.

I had a girlfriend hound me about whether I was going to the right surgeon and was totally obsessed by my diagnosis; I found myself saying what do you want me to do get the yellow pages out? 

My Mum passed away 7 years ago from lung and bladder cancer.  We were team family; always accompanied Dad to all appointments with Mum and hospital visits. My Dad took on the mantle of worry wart, wanting to come to all appointments and visit constantly at hospital.  I have never mentioned Oncology to him as I know that will send him over the edge with the worrying.  I had to say no this is a very personal journey and I need space.  He wasn't happy initially but I got my sisters to speak with him and settle him down. 

When I woke from surgery and returned to the ward I asked for the phone to ring my husband and then I rang my Dad. 

Once I had got through a couple of days in hospital I was happy for him to come and visit.  He was content then as he could see I was fine and being well looked after. 

I guess I haven't offered any real advice but shared my story to let you know it is the overwhelming love of our parents that sometimes gets in the way of trying to cope.

Take care and I wish you all the positive thoughts I can as you head off on this journey.

Christine xx