Thank you ladies for all your support, it really means a lot. There is so much I didn't say in my first post that you ladies have commented on which relates to me and it is very comforting. So I had the horrible conversation of feeling my children on Monday (B15 G9 G5) which I had been stressing over for days......they were so good with it, I was so surprised!!! I think I was trying to protect them too much....They had some great questions and are being very strong about it. Now time to focus on surgery on Monday, however feeling very unprepared for it all. Time to research - a friend said "knowledge is power" so taking that on board and I will google away. I'm sure i'll be back soon with some questions if that is ok? Once again thank you all for your amazing support you have given a stranger in need xx talk soon