@arpie @Suziw1957 Thank you both, you made me feel better about the way I was feeling and its not just me being in denial. I think it's also a feeling of guilt that I wont be able to help my Mum out with my Dad who has Alzheimer's she relied on me a lot. I have my first meeting with the Peter Mac in Melbourne today so the nerves are very high today.
I have now joined the triple negative breast cancer group thank you @arpie
and thank you @Suziw1957 for the offer to pm you I will definitely keep that in mind
Bless you both xxx