I hope some others here will be able to suggest some possible ways to help you in what is clearly a very difficult position. Your surgeon and oncologist simply want to start treatment. They may understand some of the difficulties you face but their first priority is your health. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any way of knowing how cold cap will work for an individual until you start. Some have had wonderful results but not all. Having chemo "locally" still needs some organising. Have you talked to anyone at the Cancer Council or BCNA about what support may be available?