It's starting to sink in.

That sense of looking from the outside in and that you feel disconnected is true!  I can truly relate as I was diagnosed in February and it seemed like a whirlwind of surgeries, appointments, making sense of what the specialists were saying and also trying to find a normality in life that didnt endlessly revolve around the Big C.  Luckily, I have been able to take my husband with me - that extra pair of ears and understanding of what has been said when you are sitting there literally trying to make sense of what is being spoken due to being numb has been a positive much needed gift.  I know some hospitals etc are more overtly being cautious however maybe broach the topic of needing a support person or else just defy the orders and take them with you - you have the right for comfort and a hand to hold.  You will find a wealth of wonderful encouragement and support here and most importantly - friendship.  We all wish you well and let loose with the emotions - unleash them in any form or shape....
Big Hugs Lois.