Forum Discussion
Ashley
6 years agoMember
Is there anyone under 30 in Perth recently diagnosed with bc?
I’m 27 and I’m getting treatment in Perth. I’ve been diagnosed with stage1 grade3 HER-2 positive breast cancer in July this year. (There is no family history.) I had surgery and just got first chemotherapy with paclitaxel and herceptin. I still have 11 more weekly chemo to go and I feel quite lonely being one of the very few bc patients under 30. It’ll be nice to talk to someone going through similarly difficult time at the moment as young women with bc may share different difficulties to the majority of the others.
Please leave a comment if you are in 20s or early 30s with bc!
16 Replies
- TamlynMemberHi @Ashley,
I’m 28 I was diagnosed on the 11th of November 2019. I’m living in Busselton and being treated in Bunbury but have to go to Perth for some appointments. I don’t know the lingo as it’s all very fresh. I was diagnosed with stage 2 ductal er+ and pr+ breast cancer. I’ve had the lumpectomy and spoken to the team. They have suggested I do radiation and take tamoxifen for 5 years. They also suggested I do chemo but have left the decision up to me. If I do chemo I will need to freeze my eggs. I have had an appointment at KEMH regarding freezing my eggs. I know our circumstances are very different but I completely understand being the youngest one in the waiting room and looking at statistics that aren’t even relevant to you because the ‘normal’ age of being diagnosed with bc is 40.
Im very unsure if I should do chemo or if I should just do the radiation and tamoxifen. If anyone has any info that could make my decision easier please feel free to contact me. @ashley if you would like someone to chat to I’m here :)
I have a very strong support base and everyone has been wonderful. I’ve been very lucky x - youngdogmumMemberHow are you going @Ashley??
- youngdogmumMemberI’ve DMd you my details :)
- AshleyMember@youngdogmum
Your thread almost made me cry. You get exactly what I’m feeling. I am so sorry you had to go through it all. I’m so sorry cuz I know what it’s like. And yet you reach out for me, leaving such comforting comments, sharing your story. You are such a nice and strong person.The financial issue is a big punch in the face, isn’t it? I did postgraduate studies and got a decent job in June this year and was diagnosed in July. I had absolutely no savings at all. There was no other option but to ask my parents to pay for me. Although I know I’m so lucky to have parents who can help, I feel horribly guilty. I have applied for Centrelink and it’s taking them months to process.My work also has income protection insurance but I was still in probational period when I was diagnosed- I wasn’t eligible. I’m glad to hear that you at least had that covered.Thanks for agreeing with me about bullshit friends. Most of them really don’t give a shit and it really hurts. Yes, they all like to think everything is fine and dandy because otherwise it would make them feel uncomfortable. I tried extremely hard to justify their words and actions, thinking they must find it very uncomfortable to admit that their friend has cancer, they must be in their own hardships, they must be busy, they must have hated me, they must be... etc. (because if it’s justified, it’ll be less painful). However my conclusion was that they simply don’t give a shit and they are hopeless. What if I was in their position? I still don’t think I would’ve simply stopped contacting a friend with cancer.After all these thoughts, I gave up on them. I’ve had enough and there’s no time and energy to waste anymore.
I didn’t conserve my eggs before chemo because having surgery overseas delayed my first appointment with oncologist at public hospital here. My chemo had to start immediately. Plus, I didn’t wanna put up with hormone injections at this stage. So as the minimal protection for my eggs, I got Zoladex injection a week before chemo.
I was going to find Samantha.roza but didn’t know how to.. I searched that nickname here but nothing came through. Can you help me find her?I’d love to keep in touch with you. My name is too common it’s impossible to spot me on fb. Let me know yours and I’ll add you!
Thank you so much and I hope the best for you. - kmakmMember@youngdogmum :*
- youngdogmumMember@kmakm :wink:
- JJ70Member@Ashley. Have you been i touch with Breast Cancer Care WA? They run support groups and may be able to make specific connections with some younger women. Are you also interested in being put in contact with some other 20 somethings who went through BC a few years back?
- kmakmMemberI'm glad you added the note about the generalisation @youngdogmum! I'm 53, have $22,000 in super and not a small mortgage... We do live on my husband's wage, but our savings are all gone thanks to BC.
I do feel the fertility issues the young women have with BC are a particularly harsh blow. My heart goes out to you all. K xox - arpieMember@JJ70 - can you connect @Ashley with other young women recently diagnosed in Perth?
You also may like to join the Young Women's Group (a group where you can discuss ANY issue you'd like to raise!) . Just click on 'join' (under the pink banner, right hand side) and one of the mods should welcome you to the group. @InkPetal may be able to help you too.
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women
I am so sorry that some of your friends haven't been supportive of your treatment & what you are going thru. Many of us find that our 'bullshit meter' has been lowered to almost dangerous levels - and our tongues loosened where we also may speak up for ourselves in a very forthright manner too! LOL The incredible thing you will find is that the friends you make after your diagnosis will be longterm friends ... whilst some of your 'old friends' fall by the wayside. This is normal.
If you aren't coping well with all this, please make sure you ask about seeing a counsellor or psychologist - cos this disease really mucks with our brains. I've found the emotional side of it harder to cope with than the physical side of it. I was lucky tho & only had minimally invasive surgery & didn't have to do chemo - so I can only imagine how you feel. Your Oncology clinic should be able to point you to local people to help - get in early, before Xmas if you can! You can also talk to people here as well .... 1800 500 258.
Feel free to rant & rave on any subject on this thread - we all do it sooner or later! xx
Try not to stress about the future - we never know when we'll meet our prospective partners or what lies ahead for us in life .... I didn't meet my partner until I was in my mid 30s & ended up moving to NZ for 15 years!! My husband then went thru major stomach cancer treatment 10 years ago, but even taking him thru all that, didn't really prepare me for my own experience in Jan 2018. Always remember that your surgery, scars and treatment don't 'define you' - it is your bright personality and way of dealing with things that do - and it is SO GOOD that your parents are being so supportive of you. Sometimes even family members have difficulty coping! Just keep getting out & doing the things that you love doing (whilst you are up to it during chemo etc) as life goes on. xx
It is absolutely AMAZING the crap that comes out of people's mouths who have never been thru cancer. :( Some will step up to the plate, but a lot just feel threatened somehow, or think it may be catchy!
Check out this thread (it is HUGE!) where I hope you'll get a giggle out of some of the USELESS comments made by the incredibly ignorant!!
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/17916/is-that-right-did-you-really-say-that/p1
Take care, big hugs coming your way xxx - youngdogmumMember@Ashley 100% it's different just as you say...this is a generalisation of course but assuming a 55 y.o has been in the workforce for ~ 25 years, he/she is likely to have a small mortgage or nothing left at all, a decent superannuation balance and be in a position to live off their partners income or savings they may have. Note to older readers I said generalisation! I realise not everyone in Australia is in this position...
Us in our 20's... well, we're all just trying to enter the ridiculous housing market Australia has become and if we had any savings for a deposit they are likely to be partially used up during treatment.
There is also discrimination in the workforce to consider after treatment, something I feel I was recently a victim of.
I was eligible for a measly $98 a week from Centrelink, all because my husband earns a whopping (note sarcasm) $850 a week after tax. I am fortunate I had income protection insurance and took that route after learning Centrelink give you basically zero. 50% of my husbands income went to rent each week.
I am glad to hear you have your parents; I didn't have any family support during treatment but thats my sad little life story so we won't go there. My husbands family were amazing but they are in the UK.
Friends are hit and miss...I find myself not bothering to reach out anymore almost as proof if they don't contact me, they don't give a shit. They all seem to think everything is fine and dandy now treatment is done, despite me constantly saying there will always be a risk of recurrence and statistically I won't make it to old age like you all.
Fertility and body image is difficult isn't it; I have a lot of guilt I have taken my husbands chance away at becoming a father...did you have egg harvesting discussed with you at all before chemo? I completely sympathise about your scarring etc and admit I have that easier than you, being in a relationship.
Did you reach out to Samantha.roza at all? Another very vocal young BC patient is named Sofie, she's in Brisbane so we've kept in close contact but never met in person, she was 24 at diagnosis....however disclaimer she has just posted a pregnancy so be warned if you're not ready to see that! I find it comforting seeing her instagram though because she is now 12 months post treatment and its inspiring to see where we can head from here.
You can ask your breast care nurse or McGrath nurse to contact their colleagues around Australia and see if anyone else your age is currently getting treatment. Honestly having my two pals going through it all at the same time was incredible. Just having someone to text and cry with about losing hair etc who is experiencing it right then and there really helped...however its all still pretty fresh to me so if you can't find anyone and need that person, we can connect on FB/text or whatever
Exercise helps a lot for physical and mental symptoms during chemo. I walked my dog 3-5km each day and also started weight training and kept up jogging; I figured if I achieved nothing else that day except walking my dog, well I achieved that. To be outside seeing trees, water etc and then binge Netflix afterwards was very cathartic.
Take care, don't hesitate to reach out x