Hi all. I was diagnosed Wednesday. Had to tell kids parents and a few friends. had MRI CT Bone scan waiting a week for results. Now have to go xmas shopping. Its exhausting mentally physically and emotionally. when yiu tell people you have to support and manage their stuff too. I feel alone. Im single and each morning i wake up and cry. Its really hard to see the point. I was already stressed about money my job and was having some negative thoughts. I get heaps of people survive and to use strategies to manage my mental health but i just feel out of sorts. So reading other posts. I get emotions can be a mess. Im trying to get on with life but my flight fight response is through the roof. Dose any one relate to this or have any ideas. Thanks for listening

Being alone is not necessarily to be lonely. Best wishes for the much touted peaceful night. Mxx

Hi Megs04 - I've also been recently diagnosed - its such a shock and when you are on your own it can be very very tricky. I like you have had very dark thoughts - but they were mainly before I was diagnosed and something switched in me when I heard the news and in a voice that was calm and clear I said "I'm going to kick its ass". you realise how strong you are, how brave and capable you are when you reach out and ask for help. I have been stunned at friends who I haven't spoken to in years reach out and offer help. Waking up each morning on your own, yep, get it. Money worries, oh boy do I get it. I had a breast MR on Monday at $600 out of pocket with no way of paying for it. My cousin step in and paid it for me. I was stunned. I will pay her back in-kind when I am well. People generally don't offer unless they truly mean it, don't doubt that. I'm not sure which state you are in but I found a local breast cancer charity who is able to give me food and petrol voucher - this is a huge help. there may be one in your area. I don't start treatment for 10 days and I am trying very, very hard to just take each as it comes. Hope you can too and am sending all the strength and positive vibes your way. NamasteLisa

For the newbies, head over to the "Night Howls" discussion if you're awake in the middle of the night and just want to reach out (or during the day, for that matter). I don't get there as much now as I did but it certainly helped when I had no specific question but just wanted to connect with someone else who was as wakeful as me.

Hi everyone and thanks. Im crying right now. Its the morning and i feel sad all over again. I was meant to go my good friend (since we were teens) yesterday for her family xmas lunch. She hss supported me the most so far. She lives in the country..My 19 year old daughter is an internaliser and she founf out 2 dsys before my she hsd binge eating disorder. So she had an anxiety attsck and couldnt go i was already feeling overwhelmed at the thought of socializing. So i messaged my friend saying not going. She messged me just now saying she broke down when i coukdnt go snd told her parents.and broke my trust. Its just so shit how this effects everyone.and it makes you feel more alone. Cause you have to support them too and feelbad for them. Ps done with this already. I think ill ring the help line you have all advised me. I need someone not emotional to off load too.

Yeah, supporting other people when you are being sucked into the mincer is tough. Emotions run high when the shit hits the fan--cancer pushes everyones buttons. It's rare to have a friend who knows what (or what not) to do unless they have been in a similar situation. Even then, revisiting their own experience can make people a little bit crazy unless they are remarkably well adjusted. I don't know many well adjusted people--most who appear so are just pretending. If we are really lucky, we get a real one, the next best thing is a good actor.Ms Kubler-Ross had a good handle on the grief process, I think. The second stage is anger and that is where we can be destructive because we are furious and even the tiniest irritation can bring on a full blown temper tantrum. Off with their heads. How bloody dare someone talk about us, ring too often, not often enough, make useless suggestions, not offer to help...This is tough, Meg. Hang in there. Mxx

Im alone and dont want to burden others

50 Replies

Beryl_C_
Member
7 years ago
Hi Megs,
I had a wonderful, relaxed Xmas morning with my family. Eight teenagers in the pool, a Santa Sack with lots of surprises and the conversation flowed. I thought of you and sent a wish that however your spent your day you were able to switch off just a bit and enjoy a few moments. Trust today has given you a few memories to cherish and enjoy, and ............. remember that all feelings are ok!
xBeryl
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Hi Megs. How are you doing right now? Any luck with the helplines.

I sometimes felt I was going mad with anger and grief at the start. Sobbing and talking it out with a counsellor is a good idea. Unfortunately we have to go through it to come out the other side. I promise you that you will get through it and you'll feel better than you do right now. One hour at a time, do what makes you feel good, and distract yourself. Biggest of hugs, K xox
primek
Member
7 years ago
Hello lovely. I've attached the NSW mental health helpline numbers but it also includes all state numbers. Tbese Gov services don't close for Xmas. Please let us know how you are going.

https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhealth/Pages/contact-service.aspx

Even though not cancer specific they will help you through this crisis and how to help your daughter too.
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
Here's a ljnk from the BCNA website that you should find beneficial

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/new-diagnosis/getting-through-the-first-few-weeks/

Take care @megs04
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
Support services are available but special events like Christmas makes access a little slower.
Cancer Council do have an email facility .
What region are you from? Google your area and you may find a support service
Take care
There's great information on the BCNA website as well as us the forum
Megs04
Member
7 years ago
Thanks 😊
SoldierCrab
Member
7 years ago
Beyond blue - Call 1300 22 4636
24 hours 7 days a week or you can chat online 3 pm – 12 am 7 days a week,
Sister
Member
7 years ago
If they still haven't contacted you @megs04, do try Beyond Blue.
Megs04
Member
7 years ago
This is really sucking. I rang cancer council at 3.00 still waiting for a call back. Im actually losing my mind. It wasnt in great shspe before this eirher. I feel like i just need to talk and off load. Who to is the question. Not them. Beyond blue? I don't know.
Zoffiel
Member
7 years ago
Yeah, supporting other people when you are being sucked into the mincer is tough. Emotions run high when the shit hits the fan--cancer pushes everyones buttons.

It's rare to have a friend who knows what (or what not) to do unless they have been in a similar situation. Even then, revisiting their own experience can make people a little bit crazy unless they are remarkably well adjusted. I don't know many well adjusted people--most who appear so are just pretending. If we are really lucky, we get a real one, the next best thing is a good actor.

Ms Kubler-Ross had a good handle on the grief process, I think. The second stage is anger and that is where we can be destructive because we are furious and even the tiniest irritation can bring on a full blown temper tantrum. Off with their heads. How bloody dare someone talk about us, ring too often, not often enough, make useless suggestions, not offer to help...This is tough, Meg. Hang in there. Mxx

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Im alone and dont want to burden others

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