Im alone and dont want to burden others

@LisaJHM hi. Thankyou so much for yiur kind words. I am hearing a similar situation and for me its really scary to be stressed abour money and work and bills and no one to talk to about it or work out a plan with. So many reasons why i feel so alone with this shit. I cant imagine how hard it must be for you only that i feel i have some idea that its tough financially and emotionally. Like you my headset changed it almost  snapped out if the depressive mode and lifted still with stress and worry and sadness so much saddness but to a now i have to live and fight this mode cause i have to. As whats the alternative?
I am sorry rhat you have had to wait so long for surgery too. Amazing thst your cousin helped you. Some good people out there. Thanks for tip about charities ill look around. Take care for now