My breast cancer was discovered on the 10th of may 2012, and since then I've cried, I've reached out to friend via face book and the feedback has been overwhelming. But to say those words "I have breast cancer" have to be whispered because I don't want to upset my kids. They are all boys 11, 8 and 6. I need to be brave and positive for them and my hubby but I can't sleep, I'm scared and worried about the financial impact. Does anyone else relate?

Hi.. First up it's okay to be scared and cry... we all do... and you don't have to be brave. Once you have been to see your surgeon and get a plan of action things will start to feel better... trust me. It's been just over six weeks since I was diagnosed, I stil cry.. and I still feel anxious but I feel heaps better. You will find this web site amazing. Regardng your kids.. you will be amazed at how resiliant they will be. I have a seven nearly eight year old son. I fed him little bits at a time. I started off telling him that mummy had a lump in her breast that the doctor had to cut out so I would be going to hospital but would be home the next day. Later I told him that the special medicine I had to have would make me sick to start but I would get better. I then told him the medicine would make my hair fall out but it would grow back... maybe curly (we had a laugh) and finally (at another time) I told him the name for my sickness was Breast Cancer... that Cancer was another name for sickness. I told his school and the parents of his friends... the support from them is amazing. He's amazing... he even likes my short hair. Take it one day at a time... go for a walk to clear your head... if you haven't already done so order the 'My Journey kit ' from this web site and ask lots of questions.... Trina

I was diagnosed the day before you. I have 3 girls older than your kids, mine are 11, 13 and 19. The 19 knew from the outset but the younger 2 we had to tell. I have been completely honest with them. They initially were shattered but we all had a good cry and hug together. There is no good way to deal with this but you can't be strong for them 24/7. If they see you trying to be strong they may think they need to be strong as well. They need to know that it's ok to be scared, sad, angry and that all of these emotions are normal. If you allow your feelings to show, it also gives them an opportunity to comfort you. That in itself is good for them. The cancer council has an excellent booklet on talking to kids about cancer and gives guidelines for each age group. It's free and you can either order it online or your local treatment centre might have one. Good luck sweetheart and know that we are all here for you on your journey. Big hugs xxx Dan

Hi Vicki, I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and had an urgent mastectomy followed by chemo, radiation, Herceptin, and will have oestrogen blockade in the future. I have just had a secondary brain tumour removed and am awaiting results as to whether i need more radiation and chemo etc. Like you I have 3 kids aged 14, 11 and 10. I have found that they have coped and responded better when I have been completely upfront about the cancer. My husband left us and ran away overseas the very day chemo started, and I have had to support the children and myself this last year. It has not been easy, but I have found that by opening up and sharing my experience then friends and family, especially those school friends of my children have responded and been a fantastic support. My 11 year old, came into hospital after my mastectomy and said, "so, how serious is this?" Bless his little heart! Kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for and they feel insecure if they know you are hiding something from them. My advice to you is to not whisper, but to talk openly to your kids, dont let them just overhear you talk to others. Be direct and honest. My son was also adamant that he didnt want me to get a wig. He said "Mum, everyone knows you are sick, you dont need to get a wig, just be yourself". My daughter was upset that I needed more chemo and said "Mum I dont want you to lose your hair again". I reassured her, that it would grow back again, just it had already done before. My daughter (10yrs) has even initiated her Grade 4 class to run a Biggest Morning Tea tomorrow to raise funds for cancer. The class parents are all donating the food which will be sold to the teachers and pupils in the whole school for recess. What a fantastic community we belong to. As Dan says, the cancer council have excellent resources for children, as do the social workers at your treatment centre. We were also given one for teens, called "What Now". Hang in there, and let others help and support you. Cheers Sonia :-)

I have breast cancer | BCNA Online Network

36 Replies

krause
Member
14 years ago
Hang in there, remember chemo is only for a period of time in your life. And once you're through it, you'll realise how much of a trully strong person you were...

Live and love the OK days.

Take care,

Krause
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi girls, glad to say I'm now day 3 post chemo. I got my temporary silicone implant out Saturday as it was infected hence the blocked drain and the wound was starting to split. The port went in Monday and the same day I had my first roun of chemo. I have a new drain in from saturdys op, which should come out today. Chemo so far has only given me trouble on the first day, headache from hell, nausea, reflux and throwing up. But so far yesterday and today have been great. Love Vick
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi Trish, I had my drain for about 3 weeks when they took it out, the out put was under 30mls. However it was blocked, we knew this because of what rushed out once the tube come out. It then backed up into my boob and had to be aspirated. So try to be patient even though it does get really sore and makes moving painfully. And life annoying. Love Vicki
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Justtrina I will see what they say .
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Justtrina I will see what they say .
justtrina
Member
14 years ago
Trish... I was offerred one... just tell your surgeon that you want one... I'm sure it's much easier for both you and the nurses doing the treatment...
justtrina
Member
14 years ago
Trish... I was offerred one... just tell your surgeon that you want one... I'm sure it's much easier for both you and the nurses doing the treatment...
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
I will be thinking of you Monday Vicki I was wondering how long people had their axiallary drains ...mine has been in. 11 days , still 100mls+ day. It is very painful .Not looking forward to weeks of it. Can anyone say if they let you request a port ? Or they make the decision - If they can only use one arm ?
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi Guys, well I rocked up to the chemo lounge on the 25th feeling fine thanks to those pills they give you to relax. The BC nurse Bronwyn wanted to look at my incision first as I've been having some fluid build up, she took a photo and sent it to my surgeon. The chemo nurse looked at my veins and said they are small and deep- ah yeah! I've been telling anyone that would listen that, I turn around to find the head sister of the chemo ward looking at my veins and she said, no we need a port inserted. Yah! That's what I wanted all along especially since they can only use my right arm now thanks to those pesky lymph nodes on my left side being invaded with cancer. Mean while the surgeon text back saying give the healing process another week. So I'm booked in for a port insertion and 1st round of chemo on the 2nd of July. Love vicki
Tania67
Member
14 years ago
Hi Vicki

That is exactly was I was scared of and low and behold it happened!!! What I did learn was to try and drink a lot of water before hand. Hydration helps them find a vain. Infact that is what you will really need to concentrate on from here on. Keep the fluids flowing

Good luck XX

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