I have breast cancer

That is awesome Vicki. You'll be getting those cuddles before you know it xx

Dan, that is so true! Throughout this whole journey I have had my sad days and I just told my girl that I was sad. She would ask why and I would tell her I was sad because I'm a little bit sick. But dont worry...I'll be ok, I really will. She has a snuggle with me and then on we go with our day. Its actually quiet beautiful to see the loving side to my princess. Its very genuine and cute! You cant help but smile. x

Hi Vicki

I have a 4yo daughter and she was my only concern when I was diagnosed (Jan 5 2012). I told her that mummy's boobie had a sore and the dr was going to cut it out. I didn't use the word cancer to her cos I didnt know how to explain that to her!! I had a lumpectomy but didnt get a clear boundary. They found another small cancer so the boob had to come off the following week. I told her that there was another sore so the dr had to take mummy's boobie off. Well, She just cried and cried and I turned to her with a happy voice and said...Honey..its ok, the Doctors will make mummy a new boobie. She instantly stopped crying..looked at me with an amazed look on her face and said...REALLY...can they do that? to which I said yes. Dr's are very clever. That was accepting to her. So long as I was going to get another boobie!! Take a read of my story if you like. 5 months down the track and she is very well adjusted with all of this. I couldn't be more proud of her. At the end of the day, this will hurt our kids, but with the right words, they come through shinning! Good luck with everything. We are all here for you xx

Hi Vicki

I have a 4yo daughter and she was my only concern when I was diagnosed (Jan 5 2012). I told her that mummy's boobie had a sore and the dr was going to cut it out. I didn't use the word cancer to her cos I didnt know how to explain that to her!! I had a lumpectomy but didnt get a clear boundary. They found another small cancer so the boob had to come off the following week. I told her that there was another sore so the dr had to take mummy's boobie off. Well, She just cried and cried and I turned to her with a happy voice and said...Honey..its ok, the Doctors will make mummy a new boobie. She instantly stopped crying..looked at me with an amazed look on her face and said...REALLY...can they do that? to which I said yes. Dr's are very clever. That was accepting to her. So long as I was going to get another boobie!! Take a read of my story if you like. 5 months down the track and she is very well adjusted with all of this. I couldn't be more proud of her. At the end of the day, this will hurt our kids, but with the right words, they come through shinning! Good luck with everything. We are all here for you xx

My 10 year old son was given a book call "now what" it came from Canteen and relates to all types of cancers, but is in easy to read language - well worth a look.

My son seemed to mark milestones of progress that I was getting better ie: no longer using the pillow under my arm, my hair growing back, going back to work. I was lucky enough to have a friend house sit while I was away having treatment and that kept everything as normal as possible.

Good luck mate  

My 10 year old son was given a book call "now what" it came from Canteen and relates to all types of cancers, but is in easy to read language - well worth a look.

My son seemed to mark milestones of progress that I was getting better ie: no longer using the pillow under my arm, my hair growing back, going back to work. I was lucky enough to have a friend house sit while I was away having treatment and that kept everything as normal as possible.

Good luck mate  

Hi Vicki,

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and had an urgent mastectomy followed by chemo, radiation, Herceptin, and will have oestrogen blockade in the future. I have just had a secondary brain tumour removed and am awaiting results as to whether i need more radiation and chemo etc.

Like you I have 3 kids aged 14, 11 and 10. I have found that they have coped and responded better when I have been completely upfront about the cancer. My husband left us and ran away overseas the very day chemo started, and I have had to support the children and myself this last year. It has not been easy, but I have found that by opening up and sharing my experience then friends and family, especially those school friends of my children have responded and been a fantastic support.

My 11 year old, came into hospital after my mastectomy and said, "so, how serious is this?" Bless his little heart! Kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for and they feel insecure if they know you are hiding something from them. My advice to you is to not whisper, but to talk openly to your kids, dont let them just overhear you talk to others. Be direct and honest.

My son was also adamant that he didnt want me to get a wig. He said "Mum, everyone knows you are sick, you dont need to get a wig, just be yourself". My daughter was upset that I needed more chemo and said "Mum I dont want you to lose your hair again". I reassured her, that it would grow back again, just it had already done before.

My daughter (10yrs) has even initiated her Grade 4 class to run a Biggest Morning Tea tomorrow to raise funds for cancer. The class parents are all donating the food which will be sold to the teachers and pupils in the whole school for recess. What a fantastic community we belong to.

As Dan says, the cancer council have excellent resources for children, as do the social workers at your treatment centre. We were also given one for teens, called "What Now".

Hang in there, and let others help and support you.

Cheers Sonia  :-)