"I don't have time for BC"
Let me start from the beginning... Fri 13th April 2018, a day after I turned 35 years old. As I was getting ready for work, I felt a strange lump on my right breast and it was painful to touch. Initi...
Forum Discussion
Hi @Flips,
As you can see, everyone here is so full of support, knowledge and warmth. Absolutely it is an inconvenient shit fight. Like @Kmakm. I had so much planned that year. Twins 18th birthday party down the coast, stepsons 21st birthday two weeks later, step daughters formal and graduation and Christmas is always at my place as well. Jam in there a month of scans, biopsies, two surgeries, chemo and radiation. What a whirlwind. I did find being that busy helped me get through with a lot of distractions going on. No matter which way you look at it there is never a convenient time to have cancer it's just not something anyone puts in there schedule.
It's amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye. one minute your just getting on with it and the next, time has frozen, everything goes out the window, your body has betrayed you and you no longer feel like you have any control, or that you are the same person even.
Like@melclarity said. This thing does not discriminate on age, fitness, diet or any of those things. I like to call it god lotto and we, unfortunately, were the winners of that lotto.
Like you, and many of us on here, I am one of those "I can do it myself, I don't need to rely on anyone, if it breaks I can fix it, bit of a control freak" kind of woman and the emotional tidal wave takes you by complete surprise. I did not know that side of me even existed. I remember in the early weeks riding along on the tractor with hubby filling all the stock waters trying to ignore what was to come then came the cloud of fog and I hit the dirt in a crying babbling mess for no particular reason . Who the f**k is this person?
I lurked the pages of the forum and didn't even post until I was nearly finished treatment. Not a big talker about my feelings generally and keep my cards close. I like to put nasty things at the back of my mind and live in denial (lol).
But what a relief to finally get it all out on here and hopefully give back a little if I can. This is still really the only place I will talk in depth about this whole roller coaster ride. And I have all the lovelies on here to thank for that.
It will get better with time. Hard to believe at the start I know. Mid July I will be 12 months past active treatment. I am pretty much the same person as when I went in to this. The things that have changed are quite positive. I take time to stop and appreciate things I was always too busy to even notice or took for granted. I rarely get grumpy about anything trivial and I try to take at least an hour or so a day just for me.
I am thankful I found it when I did. Another 12 months and it might have been a different outcome. I'm thankful I've gotten through treatment quite ok, but mostly I am thankful it was me who won the lotto not one of my family.
Keep talking, keep asking questions. Everyone here knows where you are coming from.
All the best
XOXOXOX
As you can see, everyone here is so full of support, knowledge and warmth. Absolutely it is an inconvenient shit fight. Like @Kmakm. I had so much planned that year. Twins 18th birthday party down the coast, stepsons 21st birthday two weeks later, step daughters formal and graduation and Christmas is always at my place as well. Jam in there a month of scans, biopsies, two surgeries, chemo and radiation. What a whirlwind. I did find being that busy helped me get through with a lot of distractions going on. No matter which way you look at it there is never a convenient time to have cancer it's just not something anyone puts in there schedule.
It's amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye. one minute your just getting on with it and the next, time has frozen, everything goes out the window, your body has betrayed you and you no longer feel like you have any control, or that you are the same person even.
Like@melclarity said. This thing does not discriminate on age, fitness, diet or any of those things. I like to call it god lotto and we, unfortunately, were the winners of that lotto.
Like you, and many of us on here, I am one of those "I can do it myself, I don't need to rely on anyone, if it breaks I can fix it, bit of a control freak" kind of woman and the emotional tidal wave takes you by complete surprise. I did not know that side of me even existed. I remember in the early weeks riding along on the tractor with hubby filling all the stock waters trying to ignore what was to come then came the cloud of fog and I hit the dirt in a crying babbling mess for no particular reason . Who the f**k is this person?
I lurked the pages of the forum and didn't even post until I was nearly finished treatment. Not a big talker about my feelings generally and keep my cards close. I like to put nasty things at the back of my mind and live in denial (lol).
But what a relief to finally get it all out on here and hopefully give back a little if I can. This is still really the only place I will talk in depth about this whole roller coaster ride. And I have all the lovelies on here to thank for that.
It will get better with time. Hard to believe at the start I know. Mid July I will be 12 months past active treatment. I am pretty much the same person as when I went in to this. The things that have changed are quite positive. I take time to stop and appreciate things I was always too busy to even notice or took for granted. I rarely get grumpy about anything trivial and I try to take at least an hour or so a day just for me.
I am thankful I found it when I did. Another 12 months and it might have been a different outcome. I'm thankful I've gotten through treatment quite ok, but mostly I am thankful it was me who won the lotto not one of my family.
Keep talking, keep asking questions. Everyone here knows where you are coming from.
All the best
XOXOXOX