I am scared ....

Hi Reeta & JT82

My experience of fear has been different from what you are both describing and not long-term (except for the first 10 days) and then, just very immediate. This may help....

I have had two unforgettable moments over the last 6 years where I have 'all of a sudden been numb and scared'. Where I could have reached for a slog (or more) of vodka medication, I ended up googling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Cancer, and got the Cancer Counselling Hotline. You can get in touch with them and they can refer you to a counsellor. The guy on the phone gave me some deep breathing exercises to do at the time and that really helped.

When I was first diagosed almost six years ago, exercise became my 'crutch'. It was after reading Lance Armstrong's book "It's not about the Bike" that completely changed my mindset. There are some really good books out there that can help or even just adjust the way we think. I was very scared for the first 10 days of diagnosis and ignored, and frankly, hated all the mundane jobs I had to do for my Son in order to keep the household ticking. I was in my own headspace and nothing else mattered and if an issue came up, I would think "really???? I've got cancer and you're worried about that???"

Another one that I have read, "it's not just one in eight" highlights the affect of our diagnosis' on those around us.

I could keep going on with other books that were comforting, supportive and just good reads - if you happen to be a reader, maybe give it a try???

This website was really good for me too.

If I can be of any further help - just sing out.

Alex xx