I am new to this

Hi Tricia,

I too am very new to this,  My diagnosis was confirmed on 24th July and since then I've had 3 surgeries (tumour, other breast tissue and 11 lymph nodes removed) and am about to start chemo.  
Apart from my not having a partner, I can relate to your story in many respects.  I don't have a lot of family or friends I felt  I could call on and while I am very good at providing support to others, it takes an awful lot for me to ask for help.  I never want to put anyone else out or be a burden.  I also don't own a car and most of the friends I do have live on the other side of Melbourne to me, so I'm also geographically isolated, like you.

What I have found in the last few weeks though has astounded me.  I'm very lucky to have had one brother and one friend step up to help me at home and to come with me to medical appointments.  I also have one colleague who has recently finished chemo as part of her own breast cancer journey.  More than that though, I have been astounded by the unsolicited support that's come to me through technology, Through the good old internet I have found an amazing amount of support. Sites like this one, filled with people who understand and who help to make me feel far less alone.  I've also,  very surprisingly, found a lot of support from people on Facebook.  Friends of friends have reached out to offer support and comfort.

I am coming to understand that I don't have to be strong all the time and there are people I can lean on. Most of them complete strangers.  Accepting help is not easy to start with but you too will come to understand there are people out there who genuinely want to help and you are not being a trouble to them, so it's ok to ask for and to accept help.

The one piece of advice I can give you is that as hard as it is, do ask for help.  You'll be surprised at who steps up.  Maybe not the people you would like to have help you.  I've been bitterly disappointed by people I thought were friends, who have disappeared since I told them I have cancer.  Other, better people have put their hands up though and I know that along the course of my breast cancer journey, I will meet many wonderful people, some of which I'm sure will become life long friends.  

I understand that you feel alone, as I did.  I can assure you though, you are not alone and you do not have to do any of this by yourself.  
We all stand with you. 

Hi Tricia,

I too am very new to this,  My diagnosis was confirmed on 24th July and since then I've had 3 surgeries (tumour, other breast tissue and 11 lymph nodes removed) and am about to start chemo.  
Apart from my not having a partner, I can relate to your story in many respects.  I don't have a lot of family or friends I felt  I could call on and while I am very good at providing support to others, it takes an awful lot for me to ask for help.  I never want to put anyone else out or be a burden.  I also don't own a car and most of the friends I do have live on the other side of Melbourne to me, so I'm also geographically isolated, like you.

What I have found in the last few weeks though has astounded me.  I'm very lucky to have had one brother and one friend step up to help me at home and to come with me to medical appointments.  I also have one colleague who has recently finished chemo as part of her own breast cancer journey.  More than that though, I have been astounded by the unsolicited support that's come to me through technology, Through the good old internet I have found an amazing amount of support. Sites like this one, filled with people who understand and who help to make me feel far less alone.  I've also,  very surprisingly, found a lot of support from people on Facebook.  Friends of friends have reached out to offer support and comfort.

I am coming to understand that I don't have to be strong all the time and there are people I can lean on. Most of them complete strangers.  Accepting help is not easy to start with but you too will come to understand there are people out there who genuinely want to help and you are not being a trouble to them, so it's ok to ask for and to accept help.

The one piece of advice I can give you is that as hard as it is, do ask for help.  You'll be surprised at who steps up.  Maybe not the people you would like to have help you.  I've been bitterly disappointed by people I thought were friends, who have disappeared since I told them I have cancer.  Other, better people have put their hands up though and I know that along the course of my breast cancer journey, I will meet many wonderful people, some of which I'm sure will become life long friends.  

I understand that you feel alone, as I did.  I can assure you though, you are not alone and you do not have to do any of this by yourself.  
We all stand with you. 

I would like to say thank you to everyone for all your words, I have received more support from strangers than my own mother.

I told her about being diagnosed and her reaction was to say that it is my fault and then she said that she didn't want me to go to hell so I had better sort things out with god... gee thanks for the support mum. (sorry, venting, but needed to get it out)

I am trying to be stong for my partner, if I am a mess then he is one too. We have always gone with the flow, this will be no different, we will play the waiting game until we see the surgeon again next week for the pathology results.

I feel like my thoughts are all over the place and it is showing in what I am writing, sorry if it is difficult to follow or read.

Thanks again for the warm welcome, feel free to add me to any groups you think will be useful/benificial.

Tricia xxx

I would like to say thank you to everyone for all your words, I have received more support from strangers than my own mother.

I told her about being diagnosed and her reaction was to say that it is my fault and then she said that she didn't want me to go to hell so I had better sort things out with god... gee thanks for the support mum. (sorry, venting, but needed to get it out)

I am trying to be stong for my partner, if I am a mess then he is one too. We have always gone with the flow, this will be no different, we will play the waiting game until we see the surgeon again next week for the pathology results.

I feel like my thoughts are all over the place and it is showing in what I am writing, sorry if it is difficult to follow or read.

Thanks again for the warm welcome, feel free to add me to any groups you think will be useful/benificial.

Tricia xxx

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it really is a rollercoaster ride. There is no right or wrong about how you are feeling, just go with it. Any questions you have just post a blog and there is always someone on here to help, you don't have to be alone, wishing you all the best with whatever treatment you need, take care, 

Hazel xx

Sorry about your bc diagnosis but welcome to this network.You won't feel so alone here and you'll receive lots of info and support.It's hard to prepare for what's ahead until you get your pathology.I gather you are having more nodes removed?and you've had a lumpectomy?if that's the case then you will most likely have radiation.Write everything down when you see your doctors and ask for a copy of your pathology.Have you ordered your free "My journey kit"from this network?It will get you up to speed.The Perth bc support group is wonderful and I personally know Chris and Mich.They are lovely women.Sometimes you feel numb and other times,anxious n scared- it's hard to predict.Just go with it.Blog back here for support or just to vent- it all helps. Tonya xx

You can blog or message people. I am happy to respond anytime. As I am currently living in Oman, you can be up late at night and still get hold of me! Love julie

Hi Julie

Thank you for the reply, I wasn't sure that anyone would.

Like you I am not much of a joiner as I have always had to fend for and look after myself.

I am on a learning curve with all this. I can totally understand the numb feeling, I think that is where I am at the moment.

I would like to know what is ahead of me so that I can prepare however as it is early days I suppose I will have to wait and see.

I would like very much to stay in touch.

Tricia

Hi Chris, Yes I am in Perth (Armadale area).

I am usually the one doing the supporting so please bear with me as I learn how to ask for help. I have never been involved with any groups and am not sure of the what, when, where, how and who of it all. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

I am going through alot of other stuff while also looking after my partner (he was badly injured at work) so this is really bad timing and just another thing that I have to deal with.

Thank you for your reply.

Tricia xxx

This network is like a second family! 24/7 there is always someone here for you.Lean on the people here when you need support or advice,and don't ever think that you have to do this alone!!!!Take care and please stay in touch.CheersxoxRobyn