Feeling like a fraud

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Hi Bearyfolk, I too had similar experience with low grade bc dx (LP/re-excision). Rads x 16 (started yesterday). I feel great (so far) and just relieved I didn’t need to have chemo or mx.  Ppl tell me I’m so brave and I say I don’t think so I just follow instructions from Dr. and others qualified, what else can you do?  Reality is we have the best case scenario in an otherwise gnarly situation, thank goodness!  I can’t wait to finish rads and fully get on with life. The one thing I have learnt is never take anything for granted as you don’t know what’s around the corner and to be grateful for a test run on something that could’ve been a lot worse.  

Big hugs and good luck xox

Please will you all stop feeling guilty! Most of us vacillate from feeling lucky (about treatment dodged, or side effects we weren't blessed with, or great support or something else) to feeling unlucky (Why me? Why do they get good results and I don't? Why do I get one thing after another? And so on). Feeling guilty affects very little and is so unnecessary. Be happy you have less of a bad thing! Be positive about your future! Be glad! We have so many women facing very difficult and uncertain futures who still find joy and meaning in their lives. That's the model - getting on with a life to live as well as possible. There's not a moment to waste on feeling guilty for something you didn't choose. 

Hi Bearyfolk
I like the term  lucky
Only DCIS for me in 2011 with MX
What i have learnt about medical issues  is never become complacent about your health..
when treatment has finished continue to follow up  the minor aches and pains after cancer clear meant that mbc was caught early.
many of us recover from bc some of us have it reappear  and like you i feel i am lucky as i still  have good health fairly fit and  not had chemo or rads.
Yes everyone is different
All the best 
Bright in hope

Thanks everyone for your responses and support. It is really nice to hear that no one on here judges on what type/size/treatment that you have. It's also good to know that I'm not alone with these feelings (or lack of them). I will stay positive and if it all comes crashing down (mentally) at a later date then I guess I will deal with it then. Thank you again ladies. I am so glad my breast surgeon told me about this site. I'll definitely keep popping on here and I hope that in time I can give support to others. 

I often feel guilty because I have had such minimal drama with chemo but I try and turn that guilt into being grateful. Life plays out. We can’t control it. 

Our treatments may be different  but all of us have a risk/fear  of reoccurrence. It’s our common denominator and bond. 

Xx

Hi @Bearyfolk, I was diagnosed May 2016 had Grade 1, Stage 2 tumor 2.7cm with a satellite lesion that turned out to be benign. Due to the size of the tumor I was told a lot of breast tissue would need to be removed and my breast would look deformed even under clothing so I chose a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction using an implant. I had no idea at the time I had just minimised my treatment by a huge amount. No nodes were involved and because I had the mastectomy no radiation was needed, because of the grade and stage no chemotherapy either. I am currently on Tamoxifen and change over to an aromatase inhibitor in July as I've been pushed into menopause (was heading there anyway!!) I too felt like a fraud and then I realised the emotions and fear that come with a diagnosis are no different for any of us. I do totally realise how incredibly lucky I am and I was even told prior to surgery that I would be having chemo (even bought a wig). I still have issues such as cording and pain but I count my blessings that I am lucky enough to have dodged other treatment bullets and even with my limited experience I can still try and be a support to others going through. The guilt will lessen and you will feel better. This is a very individual disease and I'm sure all of the lovelies who have had to go through extensive treatments wish that they too could have bypassed various stages. I haven't met anyone yet who has begrudged me my lack of treatment and if others can be that kind to us maybe we need to be a bit kinder to ourselves!! Hugs. Xx Cath

Dear @Bearyfolk, @Jax1964 , my path  is very similar to you ladies; except for a little chemo  inserted in  the middle LOL. Did  have some side effects from this. Now looking for work 8 weeks after the finish of radiotherapy. I do feel very lucky and grateful at this stage. I love to be part of this network as I think we can all offer something and get support and info. One thing  I have gained is encouragement to get fit and exercise more.
I agree with what Jax1964 says: 'Don't beat yourself up, accept your journey and do not compare it to others'.
Best wishes to all from jennyss in Western NSW.

Hi Bearyfolk, my journey has been almost identical to yours and I also used the same phrase as 'being a fraud'.
Diagnosed just 8 weeks ago, 2 surgeries and I'm now in the 2nd week of radiation and consider this whole episode an inconvenient interruption to my travel plans.
This is also not the worst medical thing that has happened to me.
Don't beat yourself up - accept your journey and do not compare it to others.

I forgot to say that I also scared myself silly leading up to the surgery, and again leading up to getting my results ..... tho it is totally normal to go thru a raft of emotions throughout the BC journey!  As already mentioned, there's lots of tears at the initial diagnosis, anger, also a couple of dummy spits as well when some things DIDN'T go to plan ..... 

I just really feel for so many fellow members who've had a much harder time of it than me at this point in time, even tho my journey is not yet complete & there is no guarantee that the wheels may fall off further down the line!

I've had some fantastic support from family & friends & this has been invaluable in allowing me to concentrate on what was important at the time - getting thru this necessary ordeal!